EP 441 – Story #3 – You are Leonardo DiCaprio on the set of The Revenant 2: Bear with Me.

Posted under Episode 441, Story On By Chief

You are Leonardo DiCaprio on the set of The Revenant 2: Bear with Me. It's early December and one of the child actors is playing with a dreidel during a break. Knowing his character is about to be graphicaly mauled to death, you decide to sit down and play with him. You spin the dreidel, but it never stops... you realize you are in a dream!

You're not alone. You see that your fellow cast members are also having similar dreams. You can hear them screaming and crying out as they try to get away from the creatures. You have no idea what is happening, but you know something bad is going to happen.

You recognize that you are being manipulated in your own dream into doing something to win a 2nd Oscar.
 You feel the presence of an unseen force pulling at you. It wants you to do something, but you don't know what.
The only thing you do know is that you must escape this place before the dreidels start eating everyone alive!

You realize you are in the dream of Mel Gibson!
 He is trying to save his family from a pack of wild dogs. You look around for a weapon, but there isn't anything except the dreidels.
Suddenly, you realize that the children are acting like the animals.

You level up and gain the following Hebrew Hammer powers:

─ Level 1 - Lulav: You can use your power to create lulavs (a leafy branch used in Jewish rituals) from any plant or item. This is a passive ability.

You grab Cory's pants which have Jason and Tony's wallets in the pockets and transform them into a bunch of Lulav's which scares Mel Gibson out of his slumber.  You wake up and realize you are now in the dream of
 Leonardo DiCaprio. You hear a loud roar coming from outside and you run through the halls of the movie studio. You find yourself in the hallways of the sound stage where you see a giant bear standing over a man who has been decapitated.

You look up to see an enormous dreidel begin to spin and land in the sound stage.
 You then hear a voice say, "I'll be right back." The voice sounds familiar, but you can't place it. Suddenly, you remember the dreidel and you begin to panic.

You say, "if only I'd been cast as spiderman over Tobey Maguire, I'd be even more rich!"
 You hear another voice and turn to see Leo DiCaprio walking towards you.
He says, "What? No Spider-Man?"
"Nah," you reply. "Tobey Maguire was just too much work.


You look down and realize you are wearing a tuxedo. You then realize that you are in the dream of Leonardo DiCaprio. You see Leo is wearing a tuxedo and he has a giant dreidel spinning in front of him.

You realize what your dream means: you want to marry yourself and convert to Judaism.  You wake up.

The first time you meet Leo DiCaprio, you are a boy. You are sitting in the living room watching TV when suddenly, the doorbell rings. Your mom answers the door and a beautiful woman comes in.

You see yourself enter as your mom.  You can't believe you are still in a dream and say, "There's only one way out of this... hook me up to the dreidel!"  You enter the dream of the giant spinning dreidel.

Your mother walks over to the dreidel and places her hand on top of yours. She looks at you and smiles.
You look at the dreidel and say, "I'm in a dream, right?"

You close your eyes and when the open you are in a magical world of
 green grass and blue skies. There is a large house in the distance. You notice a small village nearby. You look around and see a group of people waving to you. They are all dressed in colorful clothing and their hair is braided.

Everyone is dressed up like a bear.  This is your worst nightmare.  Everyone begins chanting, "One of us..."

You realize you are dreaming and run towards the villagers. You pass through the village and come upon a small temple. You see a young man with a beard and long black hair. He is holding a book.

You approach him and ask, "Are you the rabbi?"
He replies, "Yes."
You say, "Then help me. I am Leo DiCaprio and I need to convert to Judaism."

As you are reciting the Torah to convert to Judaism, the Kool Aid Man bursts into the Synagogue and says, "Oy Yeah!"

The Rabbi scolds the Kool Aid Man and tells him to leave. The Kool Aid Man leaves, but not before saying, "You can't have a Jewish wedding without Kool-Aid!"