EP 438 – Story #2 – You are a member of The Christmas Warriors, a group of festive ne’er-do-wells.

You are a member of The Christmas Warriors, a group of festive ne'er-do-wells. But before you can deck the halls, you must deck each member of a rival gang that has invaded your turf.

Your task is simple: use the power of Santa Claus to defeat them in a game of tag!
***
"Ho ho HO!" The Santas laughed as they ran through the snow, their white boots leaving tracks behind them.

You see the rival gang, the
 Krampusnacht, on the other side of the street. They're all dressed up in costumes and face paint, trying to catch the Santas as they run past. It's not going well for them, though.

The Krampusnacht is led by Krampus the Spankmaster.
 He looks like a hairy monster with antlers sticking out of his head, and he carries a whip made from an actual horse's tail. His two underlings, Fauni and Gremmie, wear masks that cover their faces entirely, but you can tell who they are by their tails.

Before the games begin, you reveal your troubled past to Krampus the Spankmaster.
 "I'm sorry about this," you say. "But I had no choice."
Krampus grabs you by the throat and squeezes hard enough to make you choke. You struggle weakly, but he holds you easily.

You kick the spankmaster in his goat balls.

"Ow! Ow! OW!" Krampus lets go of you and rubs his nuts.
"Why did you do that?" Krampus asks.
"It was my fault," you say.

Fauni and Gremmie are dressed in a pile of Christmas clothes that Cory from AIPD stole.

"That's right," says Fauni. "You've been a naughty boy."
"A very naughty boy," adds Gremmie.
"What have you done to deserve such punishment?"

You are joined by your Christmas Warrior allies:
 Peppermint Patty and Jinglebell.
"We were just trying to get some presents for our families," you explain.
"Then why didn't you steal from a store? Why did you rob a department store?"

You look guilty and have no good answer, but you are saved by the starting pistol.  The Christmas Game of Tag has begun!

"Merry Christmas!" shouts Peppermint Patty. "We'll be back later for more fun!" She blows a kiss to you and then darts away.
Jinglebell follows, laughing as she runs.

You grab the horse tail from Krampus and slap him in the face with it before darting away down an alley.

"Come back here, you little thieves!" Krampus bellows after you.
"We're only doing what we have to," you shout over your shoulder. "Just wait until the Krampusnacht gets you!"

You bump into The Warriors, a street gang of young adults armed with bats and chains.
 They chase you down the alleyway.
"Hey, kid," one of them says. "You got a problem?"
"No," you say. "We're just trying to escape."

The Krampusnacht also enters the alleyway leaving you trapped.  You lie and tell The Warriors that Krampus has $1000 in his wallet and The Warriors attack!

"That's right," you say. "He took all our money."
The Krampusnacht turns around and you strike him across the face with the whip.
"Ow!"

It is an even battle, but Krampus succeeds and just before he is about to tag you, Peppermint Patty and Jinglebells enter the alleyway with sleigh bell brass knuckles and
 whack Krampus over the head.
"They beat us fair and square," Krampus complains.
"Yeah," agrees Peppermint Patty. "But we'll get you next time."

Next time on "The Christmas Warriors Christmas Special":
 Krampus and his cronies return to take revenge on the Krampusnacht. This time, you don't stand a chance.
***
"Ho ho HO!" You laugh as you run through the snow.