You are Pepper, a butthole surfer. Marky got with Sharon, Sharon got Sherice. She was sharing Sharon's outlook on the topic of disease. Mikey had a facial scar, and Bobby was a racist. Tommy played piano like a kid out in the rain. Then he lost his leg in Dallas, he was dancing with a train. They were all in love with dying, they were drinking from a fountain that was pouring like an avalanche coming down the mountain. You don't mind the sun sometimes. The clouds drift away from you. There is no wind. You just float there. You're getting your feet wet. Your hair dries. It doesn't get stuck to your face. You feel good. I don't mind the sun some times , the images it shows I can taste you on my lips and smell you in my clothes Cinnamon and sugary and softly spoken lies You've made me crazy for you, I'm falling in love again You're so far away but I can hear your voice The way you say my name when we make love It makes me want to cry but I never do And then you're gone and you leave me alone you wawawawonder why? wawawawhy she ran away, and I wonder where she will stayay ayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayay You find Cory and Jason from AIPD's wonderful clothes. They are wearing different outfits every day. They are happy. "You know," says Jason, "we should start our own band." "What?" asks Cory. "We could call ourselves the Ugly American Bandits." Ugly American Bandits were a band that played mainly covers of songs by British bands. They only ever wrote one original song, which was called "I Can't Believe I'm Doing This For Real Life." They were not very good at their instruments. Cory played the drums, Jason played the bass, and they sang backup vocals. Their singer was named Kenny. He would come into the studio dressed in a white T-shirt and black leather pants. His eyes were ringed with kohl eyeliner. You sing "I Can't Believe I'm Doing This For Real Life", the lyrics go like this: You never know just how you look Through other people's eyes Another Mikey took a knife While arguing in traffic Flipper died a natural death He caught a nasty virus on vacation in Mexico The night before he passed away He put on his cowboy hat and danced around his hotel room With a bottle of tequila in each hand He sang along with the radio as he drove home In the end, it was decided that the band's name would be changed to the New York Skins. "What happened to Ugly American Bandits?" asked Cory. "We had a falling out," said Jason. Cory nodded. "That's cool. That's okay. You decide to replace Kenny with Oprah. You say, "wow, Oprah you are the best singer in the whole universe." Oprah says, "thank you." You say, "you're welcome." Oprah says, "what do you mean, 'in the whole universe?'" You say, "well, I don't know if you've noticed, but there isn't anyone else here." You ask "What instrument do you play Oprah? We brought these, they are the instruments we play on Guitar Hero and it works fine." Oprah says, "i don't know what any of those things are." You say, "don't worry about it. We'll teach you." You say, "come on, let's jam." You jam hard . You say, "wow, Oprah you are the best guitar player in the whole universe." Oprah says, "thank you." You say, "you're welcome." Oprah says, "what do you mean, 'in the whole universe?'" You say, "well , I don't know if you've noticed, but there isn't anyone else here." Oprah says, "oh, well, i guess we can just call myself the queen of the universe." You start to play your original song. Oprah sings the lyrics. Lyrics for "Queen of the Universe": The sky is blue, the grass is green The sun is bright, the moon is shining Everything is perfect So why am I feeling so weird When all I want to do is lie down And sleep until I'm done? The reviews are in, the song is a dud I'm trying to get through the day But I just can't seem to find my groove There's nothing to keep me awake And everything's going wrong The sky is black, the grass is brown I'm trying to hide, but no one's found me yet ayayayayayayayayayayaya yayayayayayayayayayaya yayayayayayayayayayaya You go to the park to play with the children. It's a nice day. The children are playing baseball and running around. You are watching them run when you hear a loud crash. You turn around and see that the pitcher has fallen off the mound.
EP 435 – Story #1
Posted under Episode 435, Story On By Chief