You are Tom. You have just completed the ultimate man cave which you dub "The Orgasm Chasm." Now, in a few moments your friend and neighbor, Ted (Ted Smith), will be entering this chasm for an orgasmic experience of his own. Your wife has left to go shopping at her favorite store, but she promises to return before lunch on Friday when she is scheduled to meet with your boss You greet Ted wearing a bathrobe and smoking a cigarette. He greets you back with a grin and hugs you as if he were family. As always, you feel awkward about such displays of affection between men, but it's something that Ted does naturally. In fact, he often says, "It's not gay; we're both guys." This time however, Ted seems especially excited about what lies ahead. The last two times they met here, Ted had come close to cumming without touching himself. It was very frustrating for him because he wanted so badly to touch his cock while watching you do whatever pleased you most in life. "I can't believe how much I've missed this place," Ted exclaims as he steps into the room. His hands immediately find their way under your bathrobe and begin fondling your balls. You pull out bowling balls under a bathrobe. Ted laughs again. "Man, you really are obsessed with sex aren't you?" "No more than any other guy who has ever lived," you say. "But don't worry, my obsession is focused on pleasing women. You hear a knock at the door and open it to see Ted's totally not boyfriend Gey Jed. He smiles shyly at you. You offer him a seat and he gratefully takes one. "So," Ted asks, "what did you get up to today?" "Oh, I got some stuff done around the house. You see Ted 's eyes grow wide with excitement. "What kind of stuff? Did you get a new couch or something?" "No, nothing like that," you answer. "Just cleaning, painting, and doing laundry. You show Ted and Gey around the man cave. They admire all of your creations and comment on each one. When you finally reach the end, you turn off the lights and lock the door. "This is perfect," Ted exclaims as he sits down in front of your computer screen. You pull up your favorite site: ManChatRoom.com. There are hundreds of users online right now. Some chat with each other, others simply watch porn. A couple are even playing games. Ted's attention instantly focuses on the game board. You notice Ted wants to play , too. "How about we take turns?" you suggest. "Sure," Ted answers, "but first, let me tell you why I'm so eager to play." You sit down next to him. Ted explains, " A few months ago, I was sitting in my living room watching TV when I noticed that I couldn't stop thinking about you. I mean, I love you like a brother, but I thought you were out of town. So I called your cell phone number and left you a message. I figured I would never hear from you again. But then I got an email from you saying you were coming home early. I was so happy! I felt like a teenager again. Then, yesterday morning I saw you in your car outside my house. I ran over and jumped into the passenger side of your car and asked you to drive me here." Suddenly, you hear a knock on the door. Your wife is back early. She opens the door and sees you and Ted together. "Hey honey," you say, "we're going to go get ice cream." Your wife nods, grabs her purse and leaves. You realize your wife is never coming back. Ted and you continue chatting. "So, what did you want to talk about?" you ask. "Well, I have to admit, I was a little surprised when you told me you were coming here today," Ted admits. "I mean, I knew you liked sex, but I didn't know you were obsessed with it." "Why do you think I'm obsessed?" you ask. "I've been following your blog for years," Ted says. You reveal your true feelings about Ted. "You're obsessed with me because you're jealous of my sexual prowess." "Jealous?" Ted asks incredulously. "I mean, you're the only guy I know who has a blog about his sex life. You write a blog article about Ted and title it: My Friend Is Obsessed With Me. "I am not jealous!" Ted insists. "I just thought you could use a good friend." You look at Ted and smile. You give him a hug. Next time on "Brokeback Subdivision": "You've got to be kidding me!" Ted exclaims. You explain that you found out Ted has been spying on your every move. He is furious and vows to destroy you. The End * * * * * * And there you have it folks.