EP 427 – Story #2

Posted under Episode 427, Story On By Chief

You are a pirate, sailing the seas in search of the lost treasure of Hollow Bones, your nemesis who has cast a curse on you and your fellow sailors. In a battle, you took over a frigate from the British Navy and it is loaded with gunpowder and canon balls. "Earth ahead!" says Pike, the sailor atop the mast.
 You can see land on the horizon now; what's more, there seems to be an abandoned fort or something built into that island...
"Curse this fog," grumbles Captain Crozier as he takes his telescope down and peers through it at the gray sea.

You go to your quarters and enjoy a a nice log from your fridge full of Jason's butter.
 Your room is comfortable enough but nothing like the palatial rooms you had in London when you were a lord, although these days everyone calls you Lord Nelson for some reason. Maybe they think it sounds impressive?

You consult the astral charts with your First Mate Captain Pube-Beard, the peg legged and armed pirate captain.
 The charts show that Fort Amity is indeed abandoned—you can see its cannons peeking out above the trees on the shoreline—and the water around it is clear enough to make out the wreck of a ship, maybe a schooner or sloop.

You investigate the wreck and find the lost treasure of Hollow Bones.
 There are gold coins everywhere, including one that looks very much like the American double eagle. You pocket it immediately and return to your cabin to count it. As you sit back down, you notice that someone has entered your room without knocking.

You draw your space musket and point it at the uninvited intruder.
 It turns out to be the mysterious Mr. Poe. He bows slightly and smiles at you. "Good evening, sir," he says.
"I am not amused," you say.
Poe chuckles.

Poe tells you he noticed the gold that you smuggled away from the wreckage.  Poe agrees not to tell the rest of the crew... for a price.

What will you do?
* * *
Sailor: You have sailed many seas, but never before have you seen such strange creatures. They are like giant rats with wings. Their bodies glow with green light and their teeth are sharp as knives.

You yell "I’m going to defeat you with the power of friendship! ... And this knife I found." as you engage the Giant flying rat monsters.
 One of them flies up and grabs hold of the tip of your sword. You stab it with your knife and watch it fall lifelessly onto the deck. Then another monster grabs your arm and pulls you off balance.

You throw a space musket to the sailor and give a boisterous "HUZZAH!"

The man fires a shot and kills the flying rat monster. You then take a moment to admire the dead creature. It is huge, about two meters tall, and its body is covered with fur.

You make this sailor your new First Mate Captain and ask, "Sailor, what is your name?"

"My name is Bill," he says. "But my friends call me BILLY."
You introduce him to your other officers and men. They all seem to know each other. Some of them even have nicknames, like LITTLE MAN, JACK, and TOM.

You share you Hollow Bones treasure with the crew and activate the curse:

"Oooooooohhhhhhh, ooooooooooohhhh," groans Billy as he falls to his knees. His eyes roll back into his head and his tongue sticks out of his mouth.

You ask "Billy, are you ok?"

"No, sir," he moans. "This is so unfair. I was only trying to help you guys. Now look at me!"
You check on the others. Most of the men and women are also affected by the curse.

The curse has the following negative side effects:

-Your skin becomes greenish-yellow and you feel sick and nauseous.
-You have no control over your body.
-You cannot use any weapons.
-You have poor night vision.

It also has one positive effect:

-You gain the ability to fly.
You can't stop the curse from spreading. You decide to turn the ship around and sail back to England. You tell the crew to abandon ship and leave everything behind.

You have to detonate the ship and keep these foul cursed things from spreading across the universe. You head to the engine room and begin to overload the hyperdrive.

There is a loud bang and an explosion. The curse spreads throughout the ship. You try to run away but end up falling into the ocean. You swim back to the surface and catch sight of the curse.

Next time on "Treasure Planet 2: Funniest Space Plagues":

* * *
Sailor: "Look at this. It's a monster! I'm gonna kill it!"
You have a battle with the most powerful creature in the universe. You fight it until you are too tired to move.