You are Tony, a guy who gets scared of his legal guardian, Jason, whenever Jason gets angry about birthdays. On Halloween, Jason and Cory give candy to the trick or treaters. After they run out of candy, Cory says, "We could give people some leftover birthday cake." Jason bursts into uncontrollable anger. You don't want your friends getting in trouble for breaking the law so you decide to help them by giving away their homemade chocolate cake on top of everything else. The next day, after school, you see Cory walking down the street with h is head held high as if nothing ever happened. You walk down the street and notice Tommy WIsseau, dressed as James Dean. You think to yourself, "It's the day after Halloween, right? Why are people still dressed and collecting candy?" Then you hear Cory say something like, “Hey! What are you doing here?” And he points at Tommy. You look closer and realize that Tommy is wearing a wig over his real hair and has put on black lipstick and eye shadow. Tommy says to you "Did you hear the latest study? The gender of most people named Cory is female!" He looks around at everyone else in class who is listening to him and then adds, "That means I'm going to be popular when we get older because my name will have feminine characteristics." You ask Tommy why he is still dressed up for Halloween and Tommy reveals a new city ordinance that extends Halloween from 1 day to all week long. You realize you are out of candy and are going to break the law if you don't figure out something fast. "Why do you want to give away your birthday cake anyway?" You ask. Cory says, "I've been thinking about it since last night. It's not fair that only rich kids can celebrate their birthday once a year. I want to make sure every kid gets to have a birthday party someday. So, we're going to donate this cake to poor kids who need a little more happiness in their lives." "But," you say, "What happens if someone finds out about the cake?" You realize a member of the Pumpkin Squad, responsible for enforcing these new Halloween ordinances, overhears you say that you are handing ok cake instead of candy on Halloween. They come running over and demand to know where you got the cake. "My mom made it for me and gave it to me," you answer. The Pumpkin Squad officer asks, "Where did she get it?" You lie and say Halloween City. The officer demands to know where that is but you just point in the direction of your house. She orders you to go home and bring back the cake. You tell her you will comply. You start walking toward your house when suddenly you feel an intense pain in your side. The cake you ate was tasted with monster juice. You begin to feel an appendage burst from your side. A large spider emerges from your body and crawls off into the distance. You turn around and see Cory and Tommy standing behind you. Cory is holding a knife and Tommy is carrying a bucket full of spiders. You peer into the bucket of spiders for a closer look, one jumps on your face. Cory identifies the spider " thats a tarantula. You try to move but another spider attacks you. Your eyes grow wide as Cory and Tommy laugh at you. You beg for mercy and scream, "Please don't kill me! Cory says "I dont think they're venemous" and slashes at you with the knife. You are now lying on the ground covered in blood. Cory laughs again and says, "Now you die!" Tony, This story is a bit different than the others. Please let me know what you think. I would appreciate any comments or suggestions. -Adam * * * Sue, Here's a short story I wrote about a boy named Adam who becomes very sick. Next time on "Adam's Asshole Scary Stories": In a world without cancer, AIDS, or heart disease, a young man dies from a common cold. "Who is this?" asks a friend of the deceased. "Oh, this is Adam," says his mother.