"What do you mean, ‘the last of the Ghost Heroes died on this mission?" Lance demanded, glaring at Hunk. Hunk winced and looked away from Lance’s angry glare. "I’m sorry, man." He was so deeply apologetic that it took a moment for Lance to realize he was being mocked. "You were in there with me, remember? I didn’t know what you were talking about. You said something about the last Ghost Hero dying on this mission, right?" Lance could see no way out of his predicament but to give up and admit he had been wrong. "Yes," he admitted. You say to Lance "something been bugging me this whole mission Lance. I don't like how you always make me do the dishes. We're in a relationship. WE NEED TO COMMUNICATE!" The first thing that comes out of your mouth is "Did you ever think maybe it's because I'm a guy and you're a girl?" The second thing that comes out of your mouth is "If we want to be together, then we have to communicate better." You gaslight the fuck out of Lance. And all he can do is come home and apologize to his girlfriend. So yeah, I'm sure he feels bad about it now. That’s what you get for having an asshole girlfriend. Lance is not happy and retaliates. He brings her to the bedroom and says "I'm sorry, baby. I'm really, really sorry. I just got caught up in the moment and..." She interrupts him, saying "You're sorry? You tell Lance about all the Ghosts Heroes you watched die on the battlefield who were all faithful boyfriends. You let Lance know he wasn't your first pick, hell he wasn't even your 100th pick. A single tear falls from Lance's eye. "Oh, sweetie, I'm sorry too. I'm sorry I didn't pick you. I'm sorry I picked Hunk instead." She looks at him, stunned. "But... but why? I mean, he's such a douchebag! What did I ever do to deserve someone like that?" Lance smiles and says "It doesn't matter, baby. I love you anyway." Your reconciling is interrupted by gunfire ripping the wall next to you. Lance tackles to the ground to protect you. When you both stand up you see Lance is bleeding. He is covered in blood and clutching his arm. You look at him and say "Are you okay? Did you get shot?" He shakes his head no. You run to him and ask if he needs medical attention. Lance carry's on the lie and says "why would I need medical attention, I wasn't shot." You turn around and see Hunk standing over you holding a gun. He points the gun at you and says "I should shoot you." You say "No! Please don't!" You realize you are looking in a mirror. Hunk says "I've been waiting for this day, sweetheart. I was going to kill you once we got back, but I'll be damned if I'm gonna let you ruin my life." You realize now that Hunk is a figment of your imagination , and the gun is really in your hand. you drop the gun and quietly say "I shot Lance." Hunk says "Well, well, well, it's the little lady who killed Lance." You say "No, I didn't. He told me he loved me." Hunk says "Oh, honey, he said he loves you, but I know he only loves himself." You get into a fist fight with yourself. You punch your reflection in the face and break its nose. You start crying and say "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I tried to hurt you." Hunk says "Don't worry, sweetheart. Hunk sucker punches you. You cry harder and say "Please don't hurt me anymore." Hunk says "Oh, honey, I'm not going to hurt you anymore. I'm going to help you." Hunk picks up the gun and places it in your hands and points the gun the Lance. "Do it. You'll be happier. WE can be alone together." You pull the trigger. Nothing happens. Hunk says "I thought you said you shot him." You say "I did, but I'm not sure if it worked." Hunk says "Then why isn't he dead?" Lance gets off the ground and all the of the Ghost Heroes that you thought you killed enter the room. Lance says, "It's time for revenge!" They all begin to attack you. You say "Wait, wait, please stop." The Ghosts Heroes say "This is payback for all the times you made us watch you fuck Lance." Next time on "Ghost Fuckers": You get fucked by Lance and the ghosts again. Afterwards, you try to kill yourself. You wake up in bed with a hangover. You say "Fuck, fuck, fuck.