EP 413 – Story #3

Posted under Episode 413, Story On By Chief

You are Vampirina, a vampire girl who is trying to fit in with the humans. You manage to make some human friends and you even start a band with your friends called the Ghoul Girls. Everything seems to be going well, until someone steals your vampire coffin. You say, "Ah, my coffin!"
 but no one hears you or sees it because they think you're just a weirdo freak. But now you have an important mission: Go out into the world as normal as possible so that everyone will stop calling you names like ††freak‡‡!

You write down a list of names you'd like to call the people who make fun of you; the list contains:

1) Freaky
2) Freak
3) Freakazoid
4) Weirdo
5) Bizarro
6) Nutter
7) Lunatic
8) Crazed
9) Crazy
10) Crank
11) Madman
12) Loony

You visit the Hop Topic to buy some normal human clothes.
 The shopkeeper says, "I can sell you these for five dollars."
What do you want?
The shopkeeper hands over a pair of blue jeans and a pink shirt. He also gives you a new pair of shoes and a purse.

You say, "all this for 5 dollars?"

"It's only $5," he answers.
Do you take them?
Yes No
Your inventory has changed. You have:
* * *
This game is a parody of the movie "Freaky Friday".

You wake up and suddenly you are in Jaime Lee Curtis's body.
 Your name is Amy and you've been sent back from the future to help her with a problem she has. She tells you that there was an accident at work where she broke both legs. Now she needs money to pay for medical bills and living expenses.

You suggest she get a job at the circus.
 So you go to the circus and meet Big Top. You tell him about what happened. He offers you a job as his assistant. He wants you to perform tricks for the audience. It's not much of a job, but it pays pretty well.

You learn the following tricks:

Spin on a Ball
Make a ball spin on its own without touching it
Balance Stick
Stand on one foot while balancing a stick
Butterfly Walk
Walk around backwards
Aerial Twirl
Tumble Turn
So you decide to try your hand at all of those things
 at the same time
 You do the aerial twirl first. Then you put the stick in the ground and spin on the ball. Next you stand on one leg and balance the stick. Finally you walk around backwards.
You keep doing the tricks until finally you fall over.

You trip over the stick into the gorilla cage and yell "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK"
 and land face first into the gorilla's mouth.
After that you quit the circus.
You decide to become a singer instead. You sing at the local bar and eventually catch the eye of a famous music producer.

You write your new hit single titled "Gorilla blues", it's lyrics go:

I'm a little gorilla
I got big dreams
And I want to live life
In the jungle way
I wanna swing from trees
I wanna climb mountains
And if you think I'm crazy
Then you're right
Cause gorillas are crazy too!

You get nominated for album of the year at the country music awards.
 You win the award and give the speech.
You say, "I'm just a little gorilla."
You then kiss the president of the United States.
After that you go on tour and travel around the world.

You meet your #1 fan and say, "You see, the gorilla transferred his powers into me.

He says, "That's awesome!"
You say, "You know, I don't really need this anymore. I mean, I'm a real woman now."
You then kiss your #1 fan and say, "I'm just a little girl."

The kiss from your true love has swapped you back with Jamie Lee Curtis and you return to your original body.

You say, "Jamie, you were right. I was just a little girl."
She says, "I knew you could do it."
Now you're stuck in the past again.

You go out with your class on a field trip to the zoo. You go up to the gorilla enclosure and begin to hyperventilate.

You say, "Ah, ah, ah, ah!"
The teacher says, "Amy, what's wrong?"
You say, "I'm a little gorilla."
The teacher says, "Okay Amy, calm down.

You yell once more "Im a little gorilla and then jump into the gorilla enclosure.

You run up to the top of the cage and leap through the bars. You land on the ground and roll around in the dirt.
You get up and start to run away.
You stop when you hear someone calling your name.

You turn around and see the Alpha gorilla that bit your previous face off when you Freak Friday'd.  It is time for revenge!

You grab the nearest thing you can find and throw it at him.
It is a large stuffed bear.
You punch the gorilla in the face and knock him to the ground.
He gets up and grabs you by the neck.

You stick your fingers in the alpha gorillas eyes.

The alpha gorilla cries out and releases you.
You look at the bear and say, "You're next."
You pick up the stuffed bear and run away.
Your parents come to visit you in the hospital after the attack.

Your Mom hands you a small scrap of purple flesh and says "we recovered some of your face."

You say, "Mom, I don't want any part of that."
Your mom says, "We'll get you fixed up."
You say, "No! I'm fine like this.

Next time, on Freakier Than Usual Friday:

Freak Friday 2: The Return of Jamie Lee Curtis.
* * *
As you sit there waiting for the bus to take you home, your phone rings. You answer it and say "Hello?"