EP 412 – Story #1

Posted under Episode 412, Story On By Chief

You are Steve Harvey, the host of Family Feud. Your job is to read off suggestive surveys and then act surprised when people give you lewd answers. The first survey of the game is: "Name something you can't
 live without." You read it off in a squeaky voice. A guy named David says, "My wife!" He's fired!
"Okay," you say, looking at your audience. They're mostly men with graying hair.

You cut to an advertisement for AIPD, one of the main sponsors for Family Feud.
 It shows two women getting into bed together. One woman has her face pressed against another woman's ass. In the background, you hear the words: "AIPD – Ass Is Popping Deliciously."

You return to the show and ask for another thing you can't live without, an 89 year old former Playboy Playmate named Gretchen answers:
 "My husband!" She's also fired! Then you read the next question: "What is your favorite sexual position?" And she answers: "The missionary position." Oh my God! That's right!

You ask for the next position and Gretchen says "backseat of a Volkswagen?" and Strike 1. You say "Goober family can you steal?" and head of the Goober household Goob Sr says "
I'm sorry I was so drunk last night!" and he's out too. Next question: "If you could be any animal what would you choose?" And she says "a chicken" and Strike 2.

You pull out an AIPD sponsored product: a pair of rubber asscheeks that make farting sounds when you smack them.
 You put on some music and start dancing around like a stripper while reading questions about sex positions. When you get to "what kind of underwear do you wear?" Gretchen answers: "Thong!"

Gretchen nets the Goobers 69 points. You fan yourself off and cut to another commercial.
 This time it's a commercial for "Sugar Daddy," which is actually a dating service where rich older men pay young girls to go shopping or have fun. The ad features a girl named Tasha who is being paid by an overweight man named Ken with a thick mustache to hang out with him and his
 friends. Ken gives her $100 for lunch at the Cheesecake Factory, but instead she goes home with three other guys from work.
Next question: "Do you want to sleep with a celebrity?"

Gretchen answers enthusiastically
: "Oh yes!" She gets 100 points.
You read the next question: "Have you ever had anal sex?"
She answers no.
Strike 3.
You read the next question: "Who's your favorite porn star?"

And Gretchen says "I love fucking Mr. Pete" and she gets 100 points again.
You read the next question: "What kind of sex toys do you use?"
Gretchen says "A butt plug."

Its now time for the talent portion of our show and up next is Gretchen with her famous "Gape" trick.
 We see Gretchen lying on a table, spread eagle with her legs apart and her ass sticking high in the air. Her pussy is open wide and we can see inside.
Then you hear the sound of someone entering the room and turning down the lights.
 In the dark, you hear a voice say: "I've got some great news!" It's a sexy female announcer who says: "Our special guest today is a real pro at the Gape Trick!
 Now let's meet her..."
Cut to a shot of a beautiful blonde wearing only a white thong bikini bottom. Her large breasts bounce as she walks towards the camera. She looks directly into the lens and says: "Hi, I'm Gretchen!"

Gretchen asks, "Would you do me now Stevey?"

You look at her ass and say: "Yes, I will!"
Gretchen spreads her ass cheeks wide and you see her anus glistening wet. She says: "Here, lick my ass, Steve!"

Before you can get to Gretchen, the Kool Aid Man bursts through the wall and yells, "Oh yeah!"
 He grabs the microphone and says: "Let's see how many points you get for eating this delicious Kool-Aid!" He pops a big mouthful into his mouth and chomps loudly.

Next time on the Family Feud:

After the commercial break, Gretchen asks: "Can you eat my ass?"
You answer: "Sure, if you want me to."
She spreads her ass cheeks wide and says: "Lick my asshole, Steve!"

You point to the board, "Number answer, and 97 points to the Goober family!  Goobers Win!!!"

With that, the credits roll and you say: "Thanks for watching Family Feud. Be sure to watch all the shows every week! Tune in next time for more hot family fun!"
* * *
Scene 4: "My First Time" (Day 10)
It's day ten