EP 410 – Story #1

Posted under Episode 410, Story On By Chief

We are farmers. You are what you eat. I am the walrus.

I was a little surprised to find that he had been right about how much faster we were going than before, but not nearly as surprised as when I saw the lights of the city up ahead.

You race towards a picture of Jason from AIPD, your favorite streamer.
 You feel like screaming and jumping around, but instead you pull out an old game controller with one hand while holding on tight with the other. The screen blinks at you: "Press any button for your character."
 Your fingers move quickly over buttons and joysticks, moving through menus until finally you're in-game. The world is dark and silent; only the sound of your breathing fills it. You take off running down the road, which seems to stretch endlessly into the distance.

You feel like Sonic is the one video character you can relate to the most.
 He's always looking for his friends, so maybe if you get far enough away from them they'll stop chasing after you. Maybe then you could just live happily ever after...

You stand shocked that Sonic has run so fast that he is outside of the video game and standing right in front of you.
 His mouth opens wide, revealing sharp teeth, and he grabs hold of your shirt with both hands. He yanks you close, wrapping his tail around your waist and pulling you along behind him as he runs back towards the city.

You cry as Sonic drags you at lightspeed towards a dingy apartment complex.
 It looks more or less abandoned, but there are still signs of life here and there—a few people sitting on benches near the entrance, a couple walking by smoking cigarettes.
Sonic throws open the door and shoves you inside, slamming it shut behind him.

You plead with Sonic to spare your life and reveal your troubled past.
 But all you hear is the snarls coming from his throat. Then he turns around and walks out of the building without saying another word.
The next day you wake up to the sounds of birds chirping outside.

You look for something to defend yourself with, but it is too late.  Sonic has returned.
 This time he isn't alone.
He holds a knife to your neck and forces you onto your knees. Another person stands beside him, this one dressed entirely in black leather armor. They have tattoos covering their face, but you recognize them immediately: Two-Face!

You try to make a deal with Two-Face.
 If you help them capture the real Jason Voorhees, then they will leave you be. But no matter how hard you beg, they refuse to listen.
Two-Face raises the blade above your head.

You panic and kiss Two-Face.
 He doesn't react, but neither does he cut you down. Instead, he takes the knife away from your neck. He points the tip at your chest.
Then he plunges the knife deep into your heart.

You start to lose consciousness and wonder how everything went to so wrong.  But then lightning strikes and you begin to transform into
 Jason. The pain fades and suddenly you realize why the two thugs had been staring at you so strangely. You grab hold of the nearest man and tear off his arm before tossing it aside. The second thug screams as he flees down the street.

Your movement is slow, but somehow you are able to keep up with Sonic.  You chase him into an abandoned cabin in the woods.
 There's nothing else here except for some old furniture and piles of trash.
Sonic growls at you, "I'm not going to kill you." He pulls the knife out of his own stomach and tosses it aside.

You have an epic battle Sonic.
 He's strong, faster than you, and he knows many special attacks that you don't know about. He manages to slice off several of your limbs and even decapitate you, leaving you only with a stump for a head.

Next time on Sonic and the Walrus:

You're dead. That's what Sonic thought when he saw the new version of himself. He was furious and confused. How could he change so much?
But the more he thought about it, the angrier he got.