EP 409 – Story #1

Posted under Episode 409, Story On By Chief

You are Tommy Smith, the world's most badass kid. Tonight, you have decided to livestream yourself drinking Pepsi out of a Coca-Cola glass. As soon as you take your first sip, you hear a loud knock at the front door!
 You quickly hide the camera and open the door... only to find yourself face-to-face with an angry man wearing a black suit and holding a gun.
"Whoa there, buddy!"

You close the door slowly.
 The man in black raises his hand to demand that you show him what is inside. He points the barrel of his pistol directly into your face.
What do you do?
Boldly step forward and say: "I'm not afraid of guns."
 Take another bold step closer.
The man in black looks confused for just a moment before he realizes what you're doing. His eyes widen and then narrow as if he has realized something important. He lowers the gun slightly but doesn't move away from the doorway.

You reveal your troubled past to the man in black.
 You tell him about how you were raised by a single mother who worked two jobs while trying to keep food on her table. How she taught you everything you know about life. About love. And about courage.

The man reaches inside his jacket, and pulls out a picture of Cory from AIPD wearing your clothes. He looks good.
 Real good. But it isn't enough. Not when faced with this powerful weapon. You pull the trigger. There's no recoil. No flash or bang. Just a muffled click as the hammer falls onto its resting place.

You forgot to load your Nerf gun.  However the man, paralyzed with fear, drops weapon and pees his pants.
 Before he can recover, you grab his arms and drag him into the house. You slam the door shut behind them both.
As they struggle against each other, you wrestle one arm free and hold the gun up towards the man's head.

You force the man into your torture basement.  Because you are cool and he is not.
  After all, you are Tommy Smith.
He struggles weakly, but you manage to get him tied down. Then you turn off the lights. It's time for some fun.
For a long time you sit across from the bound man and stare at him.

You ask the man what he wants with you.
 Why did he come after you? What does he want from you?
But the man remains silent. Instead, he stares back at you with hatred burning in his eyes.
You reach over and pick up the bottle of Pepsi sitting next to the chair.

You shake the pepsi so it will be flat. You force the man in black to drink the flat pepsi.

Your victim drinks the entire glass without flinching. Then you pour more Pepsi down his throat until he vomits it all up again.
Again, the man refuses to answer any of your questions.

You bring out a bowl of steam broccoli.  It is overcooked.  You force the man to eat every floret.

After that, you use hot water to wash the man's hair.
Then you wrap the man's hands around a pair of scissors.
"Tell me why I should cut you," you say.
 "Why don't you just tell me?"
The man says nothing. He only glares hatefully at you.
You take the man's left earlobe between your teeth and bite down hard.

The man breaks down crying and finally exclaims, "Ok ok, I'll talk!  I'll tell you everything!"

You let go of his ear and the man continues.
His name is Gregory Harker. He works as a private investigator. He used to work for the AIPD but was fired because he couldn't keep his dick in his pants.

Gregory hands you a piece of paper, it reads:

1. You were born in a small town in Iowa.
2. Your mother died in a car accident when you were ten. She was driving drunk.
3. You lived with your father in a trailer park in Kansas.

You are shocked by this news. Your father always told you your mother left the family. You ask the man
 about your mother.
He tells you she went to a mental hospital.
4. You grew up in a foster home in Oklahoma.
5. You were bullied in school. You were called names.

You tell Gregory, "That was a long time ago, now I'm cool."  And Gregory responds, "Cool kids don't to have to acknowledger their coolness."

6. You were a gang member in highschool.
7. You dropped out of college and got a job working at McDonald's.
8. You joined the Army to see the world and make a difference in people's lives.

Next time on the adventures of Tommy Cool Kid:

9. You served two tours in Afghanistan and Iraq.
10. You came back a changed man.
11. You decided to become a cop.
12. But the AIPD caught on and made your life hell.