EP 408 – Story #2

You are Doug Heffernan, an immature truck driver. One day, you're supposed to deliver a crate of butter to a guy named Jason. However, you love butter so much that you open up the crate and start eating the butter. After eating all of butter in the crate, you fill the crate up with yellow rocks to trick Jason. You drive to his house and deliver the crate to him.
 Then you tell him he has been tricked by opening up the crate.
"What?" says Jason. "But I opened it."
"No," you say, "you didn’t really open it because you still have some of those rocks left over from when you filled up your
 car for gas. And if you don't get rid of them soon, they will make a mess on my floorboards."
Jason thinks about this for awhile. Finally he decides to take your advice.

Fabio sees you trying to deliver butter on his turf. He rushes over to you, but is momentarily stopped by a goose attack, but overcomes the goose and presents to Jason a great butter alternative, I cant believe its not butter non-butter butter spread.
 Fabio then gives you a big hug and tells you how glad he is that you finally got out of the trucking business. Then Fabio takes off running again, leaving you standing there looking at the ground.

You say to Jasom, "An Aneruism."

Jasom looks puzzled. "I know what that means. It's one of our games. What does it mean?"
You explain: "It means that Fabio was able to see through me because we both speak English as a second language.

You then ask Jason, "Jason, where's your adopted son, Tony? I have a package of hair products for him."

He points down the street and says, "There he is. I think he just came home from school."
So you head towards Tony who seems to be talking to someone else. But before you can reach him, you hear someone yelling behind you.

"Hey! Hey!" yells Jasey. "Don’t go near that boy!"
Tony turns around and starts crying. "Mommy! Daddy! Why did you leave us here alone?"

The Kool Aid bursts through the exterior wall of the school and begins chasing Tony while exclaiming, "Oh yeah!"

You try to run after the Kool Aid, but it gets away from you. Instead, you chase after Tony and catch him just before he falls into the river. You pick him up, kiss him, and carry him back inside.

You bring Tony back to his home and Jason thanks you.  You tell the truth about what happened to Jason's butter shipment.
 And you also reveal to everyone in town why you were never successful in truck driving. Everyone loves you now.
Afterwards, you walk with Jasom along the beach. The sun sets in the west and the sky goes dark purple.

You share a heartfelt moment with Jasom. You ask Jasom
 if he ever thought about getting married. He smiles and shakes his head no. He explains, "My wife passed away many years ago. She died in childbirth."
"I'm sorry," you say.

You tell Jasom, "Do you have to be such a downer?"

"No," he answers. "That's part of my charm."
Then you ask Jasom if he would like to come over for dinner tonight. He grins and agrees.
When you get home, you find your mother preparing a meal.

You yell, "MOOOM, bring me tendies!"

She brings you a plate and you start eating. Your mother asks, "How was your day today, Son?"
"Not bad. I went to see Jasom, and he invited me over for dinner.
 I guess he really likes me. I think he wants to marry me. I hope so, because I really love him, too."
Your mom puts her hand on your shoulder.
"What are you going to do, Mom?
 Do you want to live with me and Jasom? I could move you out of the house. It wouldn't be fair to your father. He still needs his privacy, you know. But I'll take care of you.

Next time on King of Queens:
 I’m gonna go to the zoo and see all the animals.
⁂
The next morning, you wake up early and decide to take a shower. While drying off, you hear a knock on the door.