EP 406 – Story #1

Posted under Episode 406, Story On By Chief

You are Chester Foreman, a Self employed App Developer who is making a dating app for young grannies like your own 26 year old Granny. You decide to call the 
ating App "Grandr" to capitalize on the Success of "Grindr".

The idea came when you were talking about how all those young guys in their twenties and thirties were going out with older women (and not just because they're looking for easy money).

You receive a package to your office.  You open it to reveal a shipment of dickwolves.
 They immediately start attacking each other until one manages to bite off its opponent's head.

You discover the package was sent to you by Mark Zuckerburg.
 He tells you that he wants you to create an application which will allow him to communicate directly with his grandchildren through them as if they were telepathic.

The dickwolves join your dev team as quality control members.
 Your grandmother gives birth to four more cockwolf pups.
A few days later, after much testing, development begins on Grandr.

You step in cockpup shit and this gives you a breakthrough idea for the app.
 The next day, you return from lunch to find the entire company covered in poop.

You level up and gain the following tech startup CEO powers:

* All employees become loyal to me.
* I can grant any employee 10% of my skills.
* My employees have access to all my knowledge.

The Dickwolves compete to clean up the shit so you'll pick one as your new CFO. You pick one and bestow upon it a company credit card.
 You also give it 100% loyalty and skill points.
The rest of the staff decides to name themselves the "Dickwolves" based on their leader.

You find a pile of clothes that Cory from AIPD left behind and use it as an incentive to finish the app and launch Grandr early.

Your grandma calls you at home during dinner time to tell you she has something important to talk about. She says her friend Marjorie asked her to come over tomorrow night for a sleepover.

You grant your grandma permission and deem the app a great success based one good experience.
 You feel confident enough to go back into business mode.
You hire some programmers and designers to help complete Grandr. In order to get started, you need to do some market research.

You do some market research based on old woman at your Grandma's church.  They are all very interested in your app.
 You even hear a couple say things like "I'd love to meet someone just like you!" and "My husband never does anything nice for me anymore."

A grandma asks you out to dinner at 3 p.m. and you accept to boost the app ratings, but her old flabby body sickens you.

After work, you drive down to the restaurant where the old lady is waiting for you. As soon as you walk inside, the waiter brings you a menu.

Grandma orders the blue plate special.
 After eating half of it, she starts complaining about how terrible the food is.
She then takes out a small box and opens it.

It is a wedding ring that you bought.  You think it would make for a great story for the app's success.  So you bite the bullet and propose to this nasty old bitch.

The old lady accepts and you both leave the restaurant.
You take her to a fancy hotel room and the two of you start making passionate love.

You plow that wrinkled bod all night and kill her.

You wake up the next morning with a huge hangover.
The old fart just stares at you and says, "What did I ever see in you?"

Next time on Grandr Tank:

- Get ready for the big release!
- The dickwolves try to sabotage the app.
- Your dickwolves try to sabotage the app.