You are Wamien Dayne, a survivor of the innsmouth space snail massacre. You've been forcibly relocated to a government facility to explain yourself but nobody seems to listen to you until you say something about the "snail god" and how it's real and dangerous. Your captors decide that they can't just kill you because then your story would be all over Arkham County. You try and summon the snail god to free you. It doesn't work. Your captors give up on killing you—you're not worth much alive anyway, after what happened in Innsmouth. Flashback to the incident at Innsmouth: The town is full of monsters and crazed cultists. A few survivors tell stories of a monster with tentacles instead of legs who destroyed the rest of their group by flinging them into an abyss. You recall when you leaned in for a kiss with the monster and then he flung you away from him. You scream as you fall through the air toward the bottomless chasm below... And now you're here. In this underground cell. You look to a lab table to your right and pickup a Super Shotgun. Then you take aim at the door. There isn't any lock or handle so you pull out the shotgun's stock and ram it against the metal surface. There's a loud clang! The noise gets the attention of Nic Cage, who is doing some research for his next role in this facility. He walks over to investigate the sound. When he sees you holding the gun, he says "Oh shit." He grabs hold of the barrel and pulls it away from the wall. You accidentally shoot Nic Cage in the shoulder. You apologize but then realize the shot didn't even phase him. You realize Nic Cage has become a snail solider hybrid. Nic Cage tries to push the gun back towards the wall again. But he's too strong for you. So you grab the shotgun and throw it across the room. You notice Nic Cage's snail trail is highly acidic and burning through anything it touches. You try to escape the room and run deeper into the facility. But Nic Cage follows behind you and attacks you with its tentacle-arms. They wrap around your arms and legs, trying to drag you down. Nic drags you past the cafeteria where you are able to snag a salt shaker. You throw salt at Nic and he recoils in fear. You free your legs and lock yourself in a giant open labratory filled with snail human hybrids floating in tanks of slime. You reach into one of the tanks and retrieve a live specimen. It looks like a normal person except that their skin is covered in thousands of tiny suckers that move independently of each other. You don't know what comes over you, but you eat one of the suckers. It tastes horrible. And yet somehow satisfying. Then you feel better than ever before. You begin to transform into a new species of creature. You turn into a massive sea slug and lash out at Nic Cage. Nic Cage is thrown backwards by the impact. You swing your tail and knock over several of the lab tables. Nic Cage finally sits down to speak with you and you reveal your troubled past. Your parents were killed in a car accident when you were young. Your brother was taken away by social services and you grew up in foster homes. Eventually you ended up on the streets. Just then the ghost Jackie Chan hands you a vase filled with jelly babies. Jackie Chan tells you that he is your guardian angel and will help you find your brother. You thank him and he vanishes. You continue searching for your lost sibling. You smash the jar of jelly babies and the show you the room where your brother is being held captive. You break into the room and are shocked to see him tied to a chair. "I'm sorry I left," he says. "They said they would let me go if we had sex. That's all I wanted. You look behind your brother to see a jar of snails that has been thoroughly sexed. You can't believe how many of them there are. "What did you do?" you ask. "Nothing!" your brother replies. "That's what they told us. Next time: You've got a lot of money saved up. You decide to use it all at once to get revenge on the people who stole everything from you.
EP 405 – Story #1
Posted under Episode 405, Story On By Chief