EP 404 – Story #1

Allan, master of the time sphere, had been striving hard to bring about peace, for many years. The animals of the world had been at war with one another for countless centuries, and he was only on his first hundred year mission. To make matters worse, he was having to use all his own time to visit different locations, to bring about peace, as the little time sphere had to be constantly powered up by Spag Bol.

The animal that most interested him in this matter was a fox called Foxy — who lived near Chipping Cleghorn — because it was there that he had made his last attempt at bringing about
 peace between man and beast. He had succeeded so far that both parties were now living together amicably under the same roof, but then something happened which upset everything again.

Corporate Cory bursts through the door, revealing an empty pizza box and yelling "Who eatsa the pizza?"

"It's not my fault," says Scraps, "I'm hungry."
"So I see!" shouts Corporate Cory, throwing down the pizza box and walking away.

Scraps winks at you and hands you a dildo that shoots spagbol.
 You sit back and let yourself get carried away by the wonderful taste sensation. It is like eating a small planet.

You tell Scraps, "Spag Bol makes me poop. I've already crapped my pants."

"Oh! Sorry about that," laughs Scraps, handing over your trousers.
You put them on and say, "What are we going to do?

You turn on the dildo that shoots spag bols and soon cant control it. Just before you are submerged in spag you yell "SOMEONE CALL 911!!"

Afterwards you feel very sick indeed. As you lie groaning in bed you hear someone knocking on the door.

At the door is Father Tony Rigatoni, from the church of the holy spag, to give you a pasta-cism.

He says, "We have come here today to help you in your hour of need. We will pray for you and offer our forgiveness for any wrongs you may have committed against us."

Father Rigatoni begins the ceremony to rid you of all the never ending pasta.
 This involves sprinkling you with flour and saying prayers until you look like a particularly bad tempered cake. Then they take some glue and stick you together.

Father Rigatoni brings in an entire kindergarten class and instructs them to make macaroni art from your pasta expulsions.
 They are instructed to paint pictures of what ever comes out of you next.
They also draw pictures of their favourite foods and eat them while drawing.

You are starting to lose hope until you see one gifted child eating the pasta.
 She looks around and sees you watching her. She smiles sweetly and shows you her picture of spaghetti.

You feel the pasta demon begin to be expelled, and you vomit an entire lasagna onto the girl.
 The children shriek in horror as she covers herself up in pasta and runs off crying.
The demons start to leave and you can finally stand again.

This story is a public service announcement about
 how much better life would be if everyone was just nicer to each other.