My name is Dave Lawyerton. I am contacting you on behalf of SureWhyNot. On August 23, 2021, my client redeemed one thousand (1000) V-bones to purchase your "Come Sail Away" offering. This entitles him to a location change in the current story. He specified that the story move to "Super Jail". However, the protagonist of the story spent less than five (5) minutes in Super Jail and was instead returned to his previous location. Reimburse SureWhyNot immediately, or we will seek legal action. I have attached an invoice for $1,000 USD as proof of our claim. Please reply with payment instructions. AIPD makes no claim as to the duration of scenes once scene changes have taken place. Any short scenes are purely coincidental and not the responsibility of AIPD and its parent company, ClumLords Inc. Cash value of v-bones are less than 1/1,000,000 of one cent. All rights reserved by author. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means without prior written permission from the copyright owner. I have attached a doctorate printed out from a shady website as proof of my credibility. Feel free to ask me anything about it! The following is a transcript of what happened when I woke up: Me: What's going on? Where am I? Who am I? How did I get here? Hospital room door opened, revealing Nurse Bob who proceeded to tell me everything that had transpired since he found me unconscious. Nurse Bob: You were having some kind of seizure at work so they brought you here. I tell SureWhyNot that I needed those V-Bones to buy ice cream for my adopted son, Tony. SureWhyNot: That's a lie. My lawyer sent them back. I'm confused because I don't remember buying ice cream for Tony. You countersue SureWhyNot for the emotional damage done to your son Tony for distress caused due to lack of ice cream. It turns into a huge battle between lawyers where both sides try to make each other look bad while their clients cry themselves to sleep every night. It drags on until the end of time. Judge Judy invites you onto her show to settle the matter once and for all. She gives you a choice of settling out of court for $50,000 or facing a jury trial. You secretly meet with surewhynot, and both of you wonder how it came to this. They say if you're wrong, you'll lose your job, but if you're right, you could win millions. The two of you agree to split the money equally. Judge Judy catches wind of your attempt to defraud the court and throws the book at both of you. Settled out of Court, you pay SureWhyNot 50% of the settlement amount and he pays you 25%. He also gets a slap on the wrist for stealing someone else's identity. You travel below the surface of the earth to appeal the case to Chud Judy. She says she doesn't care about the monetary damages, just want to know why SureWhyNot stole your identity. Chud Judy says that's a good question and forces SureWhyNot to answer. SureWhyNot tells Judge Judy that you never asked him to steal your identity. SureWhyNot then admits that he made up the whole story, including the fact that you bought 1000 v-bones. You request from Chud Judy to get Dave Lawyerton disbarred and possibly killed. SureWhyNot requests a restraining order against Lawyer Dave. Lawyer Dave sues SureWhyNot for defamation of character, invasion of privacy, intentional infliction of emotional distress, and assault. But Lawyer Dave never makes it to his court date as he was eaten by chuds. The End. So there you have it, the truth behind the world of "Come Sail Away". I hope this helps anyone who is looking for more information. The moral of the story: Don't use the internet. Sincerely, Dave Lawryerson P. S. If you enjoyed reading this, please vote, rate, comment, subscribe, and share this with your friends! * "What the fuck is this?"
EP 403 – Story #2
Posted under Episode 403, Story On By Chief