EP 399 – Story #2

Posted under Episode 399, Story On By Chief

You are a secret agent, code name K-141. Your mission is to track down and eliminate the mysterious 'organization'. You have attached a microscopic GPS device inside your GPB 7 SMG magazine. Preparations are complete and you board a small plane heading for the nearest airport in the area.
3 minutes later you land at the airport and board a private jet with an 'XX' logo on its tail. The plane takes off and flies over the Atlantic ocean.
 After about two hours of flying, the pilot announces that they will be landing shortly in New York City.

You stand up and reveal a grenade and say, "no we won't!"
 You throw it out of the window onto the tarmac below. It explodes loudly as the aircraft comes to rest. A few seconds later you hear gunfire outside.

You jump from the plane and break your fall in  a box of adult diapers.
 As you hit the ground, you take cover behind some nearby trees and look around cautiously. There's no sign of anyone else around but there's also no sign of any bullets hitting you.

You get a transmission from your New York Contact codename Mr Bagels, who tells you, "
I'm going to send you a video feed now." He sends you a link to a YouTube account containing footage recorded by his camera phone.

You watch the video and it's Mr Bagel's saying, "You're mission, if you choose to accept it , is to get me a bagel. I'm hungry. Also kill this guy I think he's a prick."  You see mr Bagel is holding picture of famous New Yorker:
 Donald Trump. "Just so you know, you can tell him anything just don't let him find out what my real name is."

You lean in for a kiss with your phone as it freeze frames on Mr Bagel's blurry face.
 Then you receive another message telling you, "The game has begun. Good luck. -Mr Bagels"
Your heart rate increases as you realize how serious this situation really is.

You notice that the video Mr Bagel sent you is public and not only that but has gone viral.
 People all across America are talking about it. Many people are calling Mr Bagel a hero or even godlike. Some people even believe the story and are demanding action against whoever did this.

You track down the ip address of Mr Bagels and find out the signal is coming from
 a small town called St Louis Missouri. You decide to go there first and investigate further.
As you walk through downtown you start getting more attention than usual.

You soon realize you're in your birthday suit.  You cover yourself with Donald Trump's terribly made toupee.
 This seems to calm the crowd somewhat although one man still yells at you, "what the fuck are you doing?"

You realize the man who is yelling at you is Donald Trump himself.

He says, "What do you want? How much money do you need?"
You try to explain things calmly but Mr Trumps interrupts you shouting, "you're crazy!
 Get away from here before someone calls the police!"
You attempt to reason with him but he shoves you hard in the chest sending you sprawling into an open doorway.

You crash into a high-end department store and arm yourself with a pair of mannequin arms.
 Mr Trump rushes towards you but is knocked off balance when you swing your new weapon at him.

Trump clutches his chest and is having a heart attack.
 You grab him and lift him up in the air as you say, "I'll give you $100,000!"
Trump grabs your hand and pulls you closer until their faces are almost touching.

Trump whispers the secret identity of Mr Bagels to be none other than
, "Donald J. Drumpf".
You then hear a voice shout, "Don't listen to him, he's lying!"

You look to see who is shooting
 at you from behind. It's Hillary Clinton wearing her pantsuit and glasses. She's pointing a gun at you and fires but misses you.

The moral of the story:
 Don't mess with the Pantsuit.