"Captain's log, stardate 8173.1. We are passing to the Romulan Neutral Zone, the border between Federation space and the Neutral Zone. We are monitoring the recent increase in Romulan activity. We are proceeding as ordered by Starfleet protocols. We must not provoke the Romulans, but we must not ignore their activities either. So far, they seem to remain confined in their territory. Hopefully, they are just planning another war game." The captain turned off his monitor and sighed deeply. "I'm going for a walk," he said, heading out of his ready room. You go for a stroll on the holo deck. I'll be back when you get hungry! - The Enterprise Incident - The bridge was quiet this evening. Kirk had given up trying to keep an eye on everyone at once. You detect the AIPD mothership, which is being piloted by an AIPD cast member, Jim. You have no idea what that means. Kirk walked over to Spock. He spoke softly so only Spock could hear him. "Are you all right?" Spock nodded slightly. The AIPD ship opens fire and shoots proton torpedos. They hit us squarely. One penetrates our engineering section and explodes. It takes out half my engines. The other one hits the warp core and causes it to overload. As a last resort, you scream, "Fire the Cinnabon torpedos!" That does nothing. A few minutes later, Kirk returned from his walk with a bag full of Cinnabons. As usual, he found himself smiling widely. It is too late and you are beamed aboard the AIPD mothership / Twitch studio. We're getting some interference here... Enterprise, can you read me? Negative. Damnit! This isn't working. Are you there? Yes, Captain. You suspect you are being pranked for eating all the Cinnabons, so you play along. No, sir. That wasn't why I did it. What do you mean, 'no'? What were you doing then? You look down at your belly and say, "Contributing to my shame." as you return to sit down with your head hanging in shame. Ohhh, that's good. Very good. Thank you. But you don't really think about how much damage the explosion caused. Kirk looks out the space window at the flying debris and see the remains of the Enterprises only Cinnabon stand. He smiles broadly again. Captain's log: Stardate 8175.2. In order to save the Enterprise, we will need to find a way to repair her. You trick a species of pig men by broadcasting an all you can eat space dinner full of space trash. Your plan works perfectly and you are hailed by the king of the pig men. "Welcome to the kingdom of Pig Men," says King P'Gell. "Our land has been plagued by a terrible plague. We ask you to help us cure it." You fillibuster King P'Gell while the AIPD crew steals parts from all of their ships. After several days, King P'Gell is still stuck on the planet. The Enterprise is repaired and ready to leave. You give King P'Gell an answer to his request and say, "Nah." Then you for a kiss. He kisses you back. P'gll pulls away after a minute or two and asks, "Is this a joke?" You say "yah" just as your are beamed back to the Enterprise. Onboard, Kirk gives Spock an annoyed glance. "Do you have anything to report?" Spock walks over to Kirk and reports. "Captain, we have identified the virus. You see Spock hold up a picture of you and shortly after you are beamed back to the planet with the trapped pig men as the Enterprise warp speeds away. The Enterprise arrives safely and everyone is happy. Except Kirk, who is upset that he was tricked into kissing a pig man. He doesn't even want to talk to Spock. The Pig King putts his hand on your butt. You punch him and he falls over. You grab him by the hair and he begs you to stop. You let him go and tell him to get out. He runs off crying. You become the new Pig King and force your followers to recreate Cinnabons here on this new planet. You make them work hard and they love you. The AIPD mothership approaches. You're not sure what you should do so you call Spock and have him beam over to your ship. The moral of the story: Don't trust a pig. - The Wrath of Khan - Khan Noonien Singh: "If I am going to die, I would rather it be on my feet, fighting!"