EP 396 – Story #2

Posted under Episode 396, Story On By Chief

You are Frank Bennet, a teenager going through the whole coming of age thing. Your super cool grandfather passed away last week. His will states that his final wish is for everyone to get absolutely blazed at his funeral. Do you accept?

Yeah man, I totally do! You're telling me my grandpa wanted me to have some weed after he's gone?

Your family puts you in charge of getting the weed for the funeral.
 Will you be able to get it? What are your plans to make sure everything goes smoothly? Just how much do you know about making and consuming marijuana? Is this really something you can do?

You see a flyer and know the place with the dankest weed: Jason's Adoption Clinic, an organization that finds legal guardians for men.
 The guys at Jason's know they'll never find a guardian as perfect as you. They need someone who's reliable, smart, and just got back from college.

You tell the lady at the front desk that you are not looking to adopt but you are looking to get high.  As you say this, you wink.
 She asks if you want to buy or smoke the pot, and she tells you what to do next.

You level up and gain the following chronic cond
 Weed Whore (B), Knowledge (Marijuana) +7, and Ability Score Increase +2; the latter two are both temporary bonuses until your levels go down again.

You roll a Knowledge (Marijuana) check to determine which strain to buy.
 You pick one of the following: Skunk Kush, Lemon Haze, Blueberry, Grand Daddy Purple, Hawaiian Punch, Northern Lights #5, Super Silver Haze, Red Devil, G-
13s, White Widow, Super Gold, Bubba Kush, OG Kush, Big Buddha, Gorilla Glue, AK-47, Skywalker, Maui Wowie, God Bud, Chem Lab
 Indica, Jack Herer, Sour Diesel, Train Wreck, Headband, Pineapple Express, Girl Scout Cookies, Black Beauty, Kona Gold, or Mr Nice Guy.

You decide that the best weed for a funeral after party would be White Widow and you order a truck load of it.  You return to the funeral parlor with 100 lbs of dank White Widow.
 The funeral director is amazed by your knowledge and impressed by how much you know about marijuana. He tells you that he has a friend who will help distribute the weed to everyone at the funeral.

The funeral director calls his friend Dr Meow who shows up surprisingly quickly.
 It seems like he had just gotten back from a funeral himself. He and the funeral director make some introductions, but neither one mentions the fact that you've ordered so much of the pot.

You smoke and ask Dr Meow, "Are samoyeds giant Pomeranian's or are Pomeranian's just miniature samoyeds?"

"Neither," says Dr Meow, laughing. "Pomeranians are an old breed of dog."

You stare into the middle distance as Dr. Meow goes into exhausting detail about the Pomeranian.
 After a few minutes, you feel your head clearing. The rest of the day passes in a haze and you're pretty sure that you did something really cool today.

Just as everyone is about to leave and go home, a gigantic human remains blizzard snows everyone in.  Luckily, you have enough weed to wait it out.
 You stay there and share the pot with everybody until they're all gone.

You say, "this weed is cracked bro"
 as you pass the joint around. You level up and gain Chronic Sickness (Weed Whore). Your ability score increase also becomes permanent because it never goes down.

The moral of the story:
 Weed isn't evil if you use it responsibly.
(Player): I'm a new character here. What do you think?
(DM): What a great character!