You are Arneux Du Pomps, a french noble in the Breton Region. The year is 1345. One of your labourers screams outside. From your window you can see him being attacked by a mob of rats wielding a single sword between them. You know that he will die soon if not already dead and so decide to intervene." "How do I save my man?" asked Lord DuPomps, his voice trembling with fear. You throw cheese out of the window to tempt the rats away from the man. As they swarm towards it you grab one rat at random and pull its head off with your bare hands. It falls screaming into the crowd below. You lean in for a kiss with the decapitated rat head and then you notice a flyer advertising a butter factory that's run by Jason's ancestors. "That must be it!" you exclaim. "I'll go there and tell everyone about this place! They'll love me!" You arrive at the butter factory where the king of the butter factory is waiting outside eager for you arrival. Word of your rat killings abilities has spread like wildfire and the king inquires about your services. He offers you an immediate job as butler-cum-rat killer for three times what you were making before. You accept immediately. You say, "What is the job exactly?" The King replies, "Well, we have these mice who've been causing trouble for us lately and they're all over our food supplies. We want rid of them once and for all." You reply, "But how? Rats eat anything. How am I supposed to catch them?" King says, "Don't worry. " The King hands you a picture of the King's adopted son who is over a decade older than the King. His name is Thomas. When you ask why he was adopted King explains that Thomas had shown great promise as a young boy but when he came back after serving in the army he became very withdrawn. Suddenly the kingdom experiences extreme flooding which draws out millions of rats that you didn't even know existed and they can all swim. King asks you to capture them all. You say, "But those are huge numbers of rats! Where should I start?" King answers, "Start at the beginning." You herd the rats by playing a flute solo from Jethro Tull. You don't mind because it makes you feel good inside. The rats follow you up onto the roof of the castle and you play until you are exhausted. Then you sleep on top of the palace. You wake up on a floating island of rats and hear that barks of a horde of Schipperkes. You look down to see the dogs chasing the rats across rooftops and through town squares. The dogs chase so fast that their tails break off in mid air. You leap into action. You climb atop a nearby building and jump into the middle of the pack of rats. They scatter in every direction except directly underneath you. You stomp the rats like you are a Rat Mario. After the battle you return home and find that the King has made you his new right hand man. You become the most powerful rat catcher in history. The moral of the story: Don't mess around with rats. "So," said Gwen, her eyes brightly, "what's your plan now? What do you think will happen next?"
EP 391 – Story #2
Posted under Episode 391, Story On By Chief