EP 389 – Story #1

Posted under Episode 389, Story On By Chief

You are Rodger, a lazy guy who has a creative idea. You decide to install a toilet in your living room. That way, you don't have to walk to the bathroom. After installing the toilet, you sit on the toilet while watching TV with your friends. Your friends looked annoyed, while you use the toilet in front of them.
 Then one day, you get an offer from another company: they will pay for all installation costs and maintenance fees if you give up on using the toilet in your living room.

You say, "what's in it for me?  I'm living my dream?"

"I'll do it!" says your friend, as he is now sitting next to you. He gives you money. But then you think again about what you are giving up.

You have flashbacks of all the happy memories you've had with your living room toilet.
 So you say no. The other guys agree that this deal is too good to pass up. They talk to their boss and ask him to negotiate with you. And so he does!

You threaten to go public with the idea.
 He agrees to keep quiet because he knows how much trouble it would cause his firm. In exchange, he offers to make sure you can never work at any other office building or business ever again.

 . It says there will be free food and drinks. You know you should really go but you feel like shit and just want to sleep.

You go and meet a bunch of hooded figures.  They all have tales of living toilets and their found memories of owning them.  You ask one of them, "What is this place?  Who are all of you?"

The hooded figure answers, "We're here because we live our dreams."
"And why did you bring me here?" asks you.

"To tell us how bad you wanted this job," laughs the hooded man.
You leave the meeting feeling sick inside.

You are presented with an embroidered shitting robe and complimentary prune smoothie.
 You accept both and head home. You open the package and take off the robes. There is nothing under it except some tissue paper. You look around nervously before deciding to try out the toilet.

The moment your butt cheek meets porcelain you feel ecstasy.
 You begin to cum immediately. Your cock throbs hard and shoots its load into the bowl. As you lie down exhausted after taking a dump, you hear someone behind you.

You look up to see hundreds of robed figures wearing masks, just like eyes wide shut.
 Their hands are raised over their heads, fingers pointing towards the ceiling. At first you think they are trying to pray, but then you realize they are actually praying for you.

They herald your dookie as the biggest they've ever seen. They name you the shitmaster, the Duke of dook.
 Soon, they come back every night for more dookies. After three months, you start to notice something else: your friends aren't coming anymore.

You start a new show and tell little stories about your life.
 Every time you finish telling your story, the crowd gets quieter. You realize you have become famous for being the best shitmaster in history. But you don't care.

You are bored of the fame. You want to perfect your craft, and decide to live in solitude on a mountain, eating nothing but fiber, trying to perfect the master shit.

You spend years training your ass muscle until you can shoot your loads twenty feet across your living room.

You return home and display your new poo powers.
 The crowds flock back and you build your own empire. Your empire flourishes as you make deals with all the big companies that need to get rid of their waste products.

The moral of the story:
 If you have to go to the bathroom, do it. 
I was about to do my business when I heard the doorbell.