EP 382 – Story #2

Posted under Episode 382, Story On By Chief

You are Mr. Theatrical, a guy who's going to the movies. You are starving, so you order a large bag of popcorn. It costs twenty dollars, which upsets you. You go into the theater and sit down. Before you can eat a single bit of the popcorn, a dirty pair of jeans gets thrown into your popcorn bag. You are mad and confused. Where did the jeans come from?	They're just a little old piece of clothing that was sitting in an alleyway nearby.
You realize the jeans belong to Cory. You didn't think he would actually throw them away, but now it makes sense—he thinks they'll get him something special at the movies.
You ask management if you can get some sort of discount or preferential treatment for turning in the pants.  A very condescending manager tells you, "We don't reward bad behavior." You ask what kind of 'bad behavior' would warrant getting anything. He says, "That would be stealing clothes off someone else's back without their permission" .
Your temper rises and you begin to lisp uncontrollably. "I ain't stole nothin', I'm Theatrical!" you say with the voice of an actor. The manager smirks knowingly and explains that you have been classified as a thief.
You ask to speak to the manager's manager. He arrives, and you notice he is not wearing pants.  You explain the situation, and he tells you that, because you are dressed like an actor, you are not allowed to enter the theater.
You tell Mr Nopants, "Hey, at least I'm properly dressed!" But instead of telling you that you are allowed inside, he begins laughing hysterically.
You angrily ask, "Why are you not wearing pants?" He points to his chest and laughs even harder. "Because my name is Mr Nopants!
Enraged, you try to stuff the jeans in the manager's mouth. He grabs you by the collar and yells, "My name isn't Mr Nopants! It's Mr Theatrical!"
You say, "Wha... DAD?!" You turn around and see Cory standing behind you, watching the whole scene unfold from a distance.
You realize you have been set up by the dastardly Cory, your long-lost brother.
Cory tells you that he and the manager were in fact playing tricks on you while you were eating your popcorn.
You demand an apology and slap Cory across the face with your theater glove. You explain to him that you are now going to find the manager's pants and return them to their owner. You then turn to leave, but Cory blocks your path.
You realize Cory is fuming mad and about to kick your ass.  You attempt to act your way out of this situation. "C'mon, Cory! Calm down, man. I was just kidding!"
He looks at you for a few seconds, silently staring daggers into your eyes.
You offer Cory the jeans. But before you can hand the denim to Cory, the Kool-Aid bursts through the screen. It explodes all over your shirt, making you look like a clown.
The theater crowd stares at you in shock. Cory sneers, "You've been marked. Now, we're gonna have to take care of you." He steps forward and kicks you in the stomach.  As you collapse onto the ground, the audience cheers.
The power Hulkamania takes over body. You rise to your feet and tear off your shirt. The audience goes nuts.
You pull your pants off and begin stomping the ground. In moments, you are covered in mud, but you don't stop—you will destroy everything in sight if given the chance.
You grab a prop battle axe off of the wall and rush at Cory with a flurry of axe blows. Cory dodges easily, laughing hysterically, then grabs the prop axe from your hands and throws it against the opposite wall.
You go super saiyan with your theatrical powers and deliver the ultimate finishing move onto Cory. You pick him up by his neck and toss him outside the theater. The crowd screams as Cory stumbles to the street, unconscious.
A big truck hits Cory and throws his lifeless body back into the theater where you pin him for the 3 count and are declared victorious by the manager.
The End.
You are Mr Theatrical and you like to go to the movies...

Back at home, you find Cory's clothes neatly folded on your bed.
The moral of the story:  Be careful what you say in a theater!

This is an awesome entry!  I'm going to put this one near the top of my favorites.