Dennis the mennis

Posted under Episode 92, Story On By Chief

You have an upcoming date with the most beautiful model in the city. Before going on the date, you want to get revenge on a friend of yours, who has been borrowing your stuff and refusing to return it. You buy 100 stink bombs, which you plan on throwing at your friend. You put the stink bombs in your car trunk and you're so excited about the date, that you forget about the stink bombs. Later on, you and the model are going for a drive.

The model is driving really fast and you're not sure if she's going to hit something or not. When she does, you run out into the street and try to stop her from doing so. She doesn't see you, but when you reach the edge of the road, you realize that you've got some scratches on your arm.

Suddenly, all 100 stink bombs spray on you and the model.

The smell is overwhelming and you almost pass out from the smell. But the smell is gone after only a few minutes.

the model says the smell makes her horney. You are intrigued.

The two of you go back to your place to talk more about this date and other things.

You tell the model she is not really that beautiful. She points out that this is a very small city, so being the most beautiful isn't saying much.

The reason why she likes you is because you aren't like everyone else around here. You seem normal.

You tell her all about how you like to get revenge on people who have wronged you.

The model seems interested in hearing about such things.

You tell her how you framed your ex-girlfriend for tax fraud, and the model gets very aroused.

The next day, she tells you she wants to meet him again. Afterwards, the two of you drive to a secluded area near the woods. There, you hold hands and kiss each other passionately. The two of you then proceed to do various sexual acts. The next day, you wake up early and head to your girlfriend's house.

You ask your girlfriend to help you get revenge on an orphan you used to foster.

After getting there, you find out that the person is none other than the same girl that was talking to you yesterday.

You tell your new girlfriend to help you grease up a pig and let it loose in the orphanage.

> You time passes... Year 20 It's been three years since you met your current girlfriend. She is not as pretty as the models you saw in the video games. However, she is still attractive. You don't know what made you fall in love with her though, you just did.

You are sitting in the living room with your girlfriend, putting together a puzzle, when she says, "Hey, whatever happened to that pig we let loose in the orphanage three years ago?".

"Nothing happened to it", you say. She looks disappointed, but doesn't press you further. Your life continues as usual. You spend your free time watching TV shows and playing computer games. After about a month, you decide to take a break from television and computers for awhile. You think about your past relationships and how they were similar to yours.

You wake up in the middle of the night and realize you have wasted the past three years. The truth is, you have no idea what happened to that greasy swine. You get out of bed and head to the orphanage, determined to find out.

When you arrive at the orphanage, you notice that there is nothing unusual about it. A lot of children live there and you can see that they're all happy. You walk inside and see a man in a suit standing behind a desk. He smiles at you and asks you where you're from. "I'm from..". you begin, before he interrupts you.

"You're the guy who released the pig." he says. You notice a pig skull is hung up in a trophy case behind.

"That pig was taken away by the authorities because he bit someone. I took care of him until they gave me the go ahead to release him. Unfortunately, I forgot to feed him properly, so he died". He pauses for a moment and thinks for a moment. "Well, you don't need to worry about that anymore".

You are furious. To avenge the pig's death, you grease up the man in the suit and make him run around the orphanage, squealing.

You also throw stink bombs at him. He runs off crying. You continue to play around the orphanage. Eventually, you hear the screams of a little boy. You rush over to see what's going on. In front of you stands a young girl wearing a green dress. Her face is pale and her eyes are red.

She tell you that she has a very bad case of pink eye because of the greased up pig man.

She begs you not to hurt her brother. You look at her and feel sick. What would you even want to harm this child? She would probably be better off without you anyway.

You say "I would never hurt a child, unless they were a shitty foster kid named Ralph."

She hugs you and thanks you for saving her brother.

You turn around and see Ralph.

He has a broken arm and his nose is bleeding. He begs you not to hurt him either. You look at him and feel sick. What would you even want to harm this poor soul? You say "Ralph, if you listen to my advice, you won't get any food tonight and maybe tomorrow, you'll die".

You Before you can ask who did this to him, your model girlfriend walks into view. "I did good, right honey?" she asks you. Her nose is bleeding.

You smile and hug her, saying "Yeah, I guess you did". Then, you leave. You walk down the street, looking at houses and laughing. One day, you come across your friend Ralph. He is walking home from school. He stops to talk to you. "Hello, Ralph. How's school?" You nod.

Before he has a chance to respond, you thrown pig shit right into his eye balls.

He falls to the ground screaming and begging for mercy. You laugh maniacally.

You laugh like a pig.

You run back to your apartment and throw more pig shit in the faces of your model girlfriend and Ralph.

You realize you are on to something, and you decide to pitch this as a TV show to the E! network. You call it "TMZ.".

The first episode airs and it becomes huge overnight. People watch it religiously. They hate you, but they love the show. Soon after the premiere, you receive an offer from MTV to produce another season. This offers comes too late for Ralph, however, the rest of the kids do survive. Some become famous, some become normal citizens and some just move on with their lives.

You win a Noble prize for you award winning tv series called "ORPHANS: The jokes on you".

> Backstory There once was a town, which had a population of less than 100 people. It was a small town, but then again, so were most towns. The problem with a town with only a few hundred residents, is that they tend to stick together. So much so, that it became a problem. Everyone knew everyone else.

The town forms and angry mob and protests loudly outside your home. They have torches and pitchforks, they are demanded you come outside and face them.

Your mother calls you at work and tells you to come out. You come out and the crowd cheers. Your mother, with tears streaming down her face, tries to explain why you shouldn't leave, but the mob is insistent. They demand to know what you plan on doing.

You sign autographs with pigshit and throw it in the townsfolk' eyes.

They take you outside and beat you bloody. The mob demands to know where you got the money to buy those things. You refuse to answer, and they start beating you black and blue. You fall to the ground and scream. The mob takes turns ###### you while yelling obscenities at you. After what seems like hours, they stop and leave you there.

You vow to get revenge on the entire town.

A year passes... It's been two years since you started your television career. You have a new job, and a new house. You have enough money to live comfortably now. You haven't lost your sense of humor though. One night, you and your friends are watching television when you suddenly remember something.

You say "Oh wait; I have to get revenge on an entire town!"

You go back to your room, grab a crowbar, and head downstairs. You knock on your Mom's door, but no one answers. You try the door to your Dad's room, but he isn't there. You enter your Aunt Helen's room, but she is asleep. You check the rooms next door, but they're empty too.

You sneak into sleeping Aunt Helen's room and place her hand into a warm bowl of water.

As soon as she wakes up, she screams and drops the bucket. You then put her in a cold bathtub of ice water. When she is completely drenched, you pour hot water over her body until she dies.

You say "I have to admit, that was a pretty good one," Aunt Helen gurgles as she breathes her last.

You return to your own room and begin writing the name "Orphan Black" in blood on the wall.

You steal Aunt Helen's 18 wheeler, fill the truck trailer with pig shit, and go to the town to take your revenge.

> You and the Town You drive to the town and park outside the local bar. You climb out of the car and walk over to the bar. A man sitting at the bar sees you and waves you over to order a drink. You pay the man and tell him you need a beer.

You turn to your left and see a beautiful woman sitting next to you. You smile at her.

She smiles back. You both look at each other and kiss passionately. You pull away and notice how wet you are. You quickly wipe yourself off and continue. You walk back to your car and open the door. Inside the car is a young girl, maybe 12 years old. She looks scared. The pair of you stare at each other and then the girl runs inside her house.

You The beautiful woman comes out and asks you, "Have you seen my daughter? Her name is Pennis. I named her to honor her father.".

You nod and reply, "Yes, I did. Are you sure?"

You say "Pennis Mennis is my daughter."

The woman says "That's wonderful! We have a lot of cousins here. My husband will be happy if you can give us any news about her". You smile and reply, "We'll find out soon enough. Now let me get back to my car".

You say "I'm on a mission to get revenge by murdering the entire town, so I have to go now. See ya."

and you leave.

You dump all the pig shit in front of city hall. You cover the statue of the famous pig farmer that founded the town: Cleatus Baconitus.

> You go to the Bar You walk through the streets of the town. The smell of bacon fills your nose. You hear laughter and shouts from behind buildings. You see a group of men laughing and talking. You approach them and ask who they are. They laugh and point to their faces. The men run off laughing and shout, "It's Orphan Black!"

You realize the men are all clones. That means ... a clone probably exists of you. You head to the local KFC/geneaology center to learn the truth.

After eating some food, you sit down and think for awhile. What do you do?

You look around the KFC and notice that everyone there looks exactly like you. You are all clones. You order some more mashed potatoes before thinking too much about it.

You feel tired and decide to sleep. You don't want to worry about this right now. You wake up and realize you slept through the morning. You go to the nearest streetlight and watch the people walking around. You realize that everyone has the same features and characteristics. You wonder why anyone would do such a thing. There must be some reason.

You hear the sound of a truck. You turn around and see one of your clones. He is driving a truck, and you can tell by the smell that it is full of pigshit. "I'm going to the next town to get revenge.".

You say. You head towards the road. You pass by a small village which seems deserted. You stop near the road and listen carefully. You hear someone calling out, "Hey, where are you going?" You turn around and see a man holding a shotgun. You don't know what he wants, but you know he won't hesitate to shoot you.

You run away.

You arrive at the next town. You get out of the car and make your way to the police station. As you walk in, you see two policemen standing guard. One of them tells the other, "This guy is wanted for murder. Get your guns ready". You wait patiently while you wait for your turn to speak to the police. Finally you get your chance.

You realize you are pregnant and have the baby in a holding cell. You didn't know you could get pregnant, but then you remember that in your clone history class in school that clones are all hermaphrodites. You are a clone!!!

You scream in pain and panic as you realize that you are not only carrying a human being, but also his or her child!! You are about to cry when you suddenly hear a voice, "Hello, Sarah. It's me. Is it true you killed the whole town?" You stand up and start running.

You The Terminator chases you down easily. "I'm not here to kill you, Sarah Connor. Before you were Dennis Mennis, you were Sara Sara Bo Beara Bananafana Fo Fera. You are a shapeshifting clone.".

"What?!" you exclaim. "Yeah, what? I thought you were different. A real person with feelings and emotions. I mean, you even had a family. Your parents were alive. Your brother was alive. Your sister was alive. How could I kill them all just because I thought you looked a little familiar?"

You shapeshift into a big pig and defeat the Terminator with hot liquid pig shit.

The Terminator laughs, "Well, I guess you're right. But I am still here. And I'm gonna prove it to you!"

You continue.

You begin transforming into various animals. Eventually you transform into a bear, and after defeating him, you become a cow. Then a donkey. Eventually you transform into a dog and finally a cat. Then you transform into a giant snake and kill the Terminator.

after saving the town you head back to the orphanage. You transform into a pony and give all the hopeless children pony rides.

When you reach the orphanage, you find that the kids have gone crazy and are attacking each other.

You stare for a long time at the scene, pondering. You decide to do the humane thing. You cook up some bacon in the kitchen, start a grease fire, then lock all the doors. The flames close in, but you don't run away. The world fades to black. Orphan Black.

From Bulbapedia, the community-driven Pokémon encyclopedia. A Poké Ball (Japanese: ポケモンボール Poké Ball) is a type of item used primarily in the games of the Pokémon anime series. In these games, they are primarily used to catch wild Pokémon.