You You're at a cinema with a friend watching Space Jam. Suddenly a man clambers over the seats towards you like a spider. He's got a baseball cap on backwards and is dressed in an outfit that looks very much like a clown. "What the fuck?" he says to you. "You fucking white trash ass ######". He grabs your arm and pulls you out of the theatre. As you leave, you hear him shouting: "See ya later, Iggy Pop!" You The clown man drags you into the theater showing "Sister Act 5: Saint No Jive.". The clown man tells you to sit down and then proceeds to pull his pants down revealing his penis which is about 6 inches long. Then he begins to masturbate while pointing it at you. The next day, you go back to the same cinema where you had been attacked by the clown. You hold up a drawing of the clown man's penis that you drew and ask the staff if they recognize it. Jedd the assistant manager does. He also recognizes the clown who assaulted you as the one who did the attack. You ask Jedd for more information about the clown man. You ask if he has any weaknesses or vulnerabilities. Jedd explains that the clown is not smart enough to realize what he is doing, but then again he isn't stupid either. He states that the clown is a good mimic and can imitate almost anything, so a simple phrase such as 'I'm sorry' could fool him. You ask Jedd what the clown's name is? "It's Frank Nitti", replies Jedd. You post pictures of the Clown penis all around town with a number to call if anyone has any information. You get all call... from Frank Nitti! Nitti the Clown starts to come through the phone, it's like a nightmare, you back into the corner as he traps you in your bedroom. You scream and cry until the police arrive. You Frank Nitti laughs and tells you, "Get ready for my Nitty Bitties!" He pulls out his penis and testicles. He then puts them in a jar and leaves. You look at the penis and testicles in the jar very closely and softly say "I'm sorry" three times. > You end of Page You When you open your eyes, the penis is staring at you with its one eye. "What is thy bidding, master?" it asks you. > You give it a kiss You put your lips against the tip of the penis and gently suck on it. It tastes funny, like rubber. You feel strange, like something is missing, but you don't know why. You look at yourself in the mirror and see a little girl kissing her doll. Why do you feel this way? You say "Lead me to Frank Nitti," you tell the penis in the jar. "And never tell anyone about what just happened." When you wake up, you find yourself in your room. There is no penis in the jar anymore. Instead there is a small black cat with a human face sitting beside you. "What the hell am I supposed to do now?" you ask the cat. "Well, we've already gotten you out of trouble, so you should be fine". You ask the cat "Where is Frank Nitti??". The cat looks at you and slowly shakes its head "We don't have time for this, let's play..". You play with the pussy. It feels really nice. You start licking and sucking on it. The cat doesn't seem to mind though. The cat takes to you to Nitti's Lair - in an abandoned Mr Allen's shoe store. Nitti himself is a big fat guy wearing only a pair of tighty whities. "Come here boy, I wanna show you how I make these things". You walk into Nitti's lair. A large bowl sits on a table covered with various objects. On top of the bowl is a small bottle of some red liquid. You ask Frank Nitti "What is the red liquid for?". You see the cat rub itself against Franks leg. Frank Nitti smiles and points at the bottle of red liquid. "That's the stuff that makes these things grow bigger and better looking". Frank Nitti begins to eat you. You try to fight back, but Frank Nitti is too strong. His teeth sink deep into your flesh. Soon you are nothing but a pile of meat. Inside Frank's stomach, you see a flesh basketball court. Michael Jordan dribbles over a testicle looking basketball and says, "alright Dennis, we got to 2v2 for our lives!" Suddenly Frank Nitti stops eating you and turns to you. "Oh no, you're not going to be able to beat me. I'll be much stronger than you think. Come on, let's go to the game". You follow Frank Nitti outside. You walk along side him. Suddenly Frank Nitti suddenly grabs you and throws you onto the ground. You kick Frank Nitti off you. You yell at him saying "I'M SORRY". You continue "I'M SORRY YOU'RE A BITCH!" Then you give Michael Jordan a high five. Michael Jordan walks away. "Hey Michael, remember when you were in seventh grade and you had a crush on me?" Michael Jordan looks at you and nods. "I thought you'd understand, but you didn't. I guess I was wrong about you". Then you hug Michael and kiss him goodbye. You use your rebounding power to regrow your body, including all of your tattoos. You begin to laugh and smile. You turn around and walk home. You get home and go right to bed. Today's been a long day. As you close your eyes, you hear a honking noise coming from under your bed. You jump out of bed and run down the stairs to investigate. You open the door to your room and see a weird creature standing in front of you. Its head is shaped like a clown's, but its mouth is wide enough to fit a horse's mouth. Its eyes are huge and red, like firecrackers. You inspect it's penis. You don't recognize it and it's about 5 inches. "What do you want" you ask the creature. "I want your dick, because I need a ride home". The creature laughs and runs off. You stand in the middle of the street and stare at the monster as it goes by. It seems so real... You realize it has taken your penis, you chase after him. > You chase after the monster You run after the monster. It disappears behind a row of houses. You run past them and then stop. You sit down and stare at your crotch for awhile. Finally you decide to call it quits. You get dressed and leave the house. You walk along side the road until you reach the next town. You see something shining in the ditch. It is a 12-inch penis in a jar. "You can have me if you dye your hair red," the penis tells you. You agree. Kool-Aid man bursts through a wall as you put on your new penis, and yells "OH YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!". He starts running towards you screaming "GET ME THE FUCK OUTTA HERE! OH MY GOD IT FEELS SO GOOD!!!" He runs up to you and kisses you passionately. "I love your cock baby". he pants. You are speechless. You look at his penis and say "Wow, you made my dick hard".