Dagon and the Whale Beast

Posted under Episode 0, Story On By Chief

You are Private Sam, a nuclear submarine operator. You and your crew have been underwater for about two weeks in the pacific ocean. The submarine is advancing at a slow pace in the vast waters. You hear a single blip on the sonar followed by a deep thud. The submarine has been stopped in it's tracks! "What the hell was that?" says Private Andy.

"I don't know," you say. You check the sonar screen again and see nothing but blackness. A few seconds later, another thud shakes the hull of the ship. This time there is no question as to what happened.
 It seems like someone just dropped an atom bomb right into our path! You can barely contain yourself from laughing out loud...
The captain comes over to you with his face pale. He points at one of the screens showing a giant monster emerging from the depths below.

You look into the periscope and look at the monster's grotesque features:
 its huge mouth filled with sharp teeth; large claws on each hand; and long tail ending in a spiked ball. Its body is covered in scales and rippling muscles. You have never seen anything so hideous before.

You try to turn the submarine around and escape, but the monster notices you and cuts you off.
 You watch as it slowly closes the distance between you and your sub. Suddenly, you feel something warm and wet against your back. Your eyes widen as you realize the monster has latched onto your back with its jaws.

You realize that your entire submarine has been consumed by the monster.  You exit the sub and realize you can breath.  You need to find a way to escape!
 You hear a low growl coming from the monster and suddenly you are lifted up and thrown into the air. You land hard on the ground and roll across the rough terrain. You manage to get to your feet and run towards the monster.

You begin punching the stomach wall of the monster.  You can hear it wail in pain.
 You punch harder and faster until you finally feel the creature give up and release you. You fall to the ground and immediately pick yourself up and start running again. After a few minutes, you come upon a cave entrance.

You enter the cave with your crewmates and see something very strange:
 inside this cave is a room made entirely of glass. The walls, floor, and ceiling are all clear and perfectly transparent. There is also a small platform built into the center of the room. On top of this platform is a cage containing

n old man

The old man looks excited to see you.  He yells out, "I was worried I would never see another living soul as long as I lived!  Come join me for dinner!"

The old man begins talking to you in an odd language. He tells you that he is actually the god of the sea. He explains that he has been trapped in the cage because the monster fears him.

You ask him, "What is your name?"

He replies, "My name is Dagon."
You then notice that the monster has returned. It stands at the edge of the cave and watches you with great curiosity.
Dagon says, "Don't worry.
 I will protect you."
You have no choice but to accept the offer of protection. You walk up to the cage and climb up onto the platform. You see the monster looming over you. It's much bigger than you expected.

Dagon casts a spell to ward off the beast:
 "I call upon my mighty power! May the waves be stilled and the winds cease to blow!"
The monster screams in rage as it falls backwards. You can hear the sound of splashing water as it hits the ocean floor.

You tell Dagon that you might know of a way out: you have several nukes onboard you submarine and you can detonate them to blow a hole in the monster stomach.

Dagon laughs and says, "Ha! You can't do that! That would kill us both."
You reply, "Then we are doomed!"
Dagon says, "Not necessarily.
 I am the only one who knows how to destroy the monster. Once I am free, I will make sure the monster dies."
You ask, "How can you defeat such a powerful monster?"

Dagon smiles and says, "I have been waiting for someone like you to show up. I will teach you everything you need to know."
You nod and Dagon begins explaining the art of naval warfare.

You become a professional at the board game Battleship.
 You play with your friends and family, often competing against each other. One day, when you are playing, the conversation turns to women. Everyone is curious about the opposite sex.
You ask, "Do you think girls are pretty?"

Dagon says, "Gods have no need for women."

Your friend, Roxy, asks, "Why not? Women are strong and beautiful!"
Dagon says, "Women are nothing more than creatures designed to bear children. They are weak and frail."

You tell Dagon, "That is so sexist of you to say."

Dagon replies, "Yes, but it is true."
Roxy retorts, "What if a woman is really strong and brave?"
Dagon says, "If she is, then she must be born a man."

You decide it's not the worst thing if you and Dagon die as long as the creature is killed.  You detonate the nuke inside of the creaure.

Dagon shouts, "The monster is dead!"
You ask, "Is that all?"
Dagon nods. You are confused. You ask, "Are you sure? How can you be certain the monster is truly dead?"

Dagon says, "I just know. Now, let us celebrate our victory!"
Dagon starts chanting and you are overcome with a feeling of euphoria. Your vision becomes hazy and you lose consciousness.

When you wake up, you are standing on the deck of your submarine. You look around and realize everyone else is missing. You have no idea what happened.
A voice comes from behind you: "Hi!
 My name is Dagon. I am the god of the sea. I came here to save you."
You turn around and see Dagon floating in midair. He looks down at you with concern.

You take out a harpoon and shoot Dagon dead.
 You feel horrible. You drop the harpoon and fall to the ground.
Dagon says, "I'm sorry."
You say, "It's ok."
Dagon says, "I didn't mean to hurt you."

Your female commander Roxy runs over and kicks Dagon right in the balls before he dies.

Roxy says, "We have to get out of here! We can't stay here. The monster will come back and kill us."
You reply, "I know. Let's go home."

You return home and when you arrive on land, you are met by the Military Police and questioned about your unauthorized use of a nuclear warhead.

"What did you do with the monster?"
You explain everything to the military police.
They say, "Well, it sounds like you got lucky. If this had gone any further, we may have needed to send in the Marines."

You tell the scientist all about the monster.

He says, "That's incredible! This could change the world."
You ask, "What does that mean?"
The scientist explains, "With this technology, we can create an army of super soldiers that can fight any enemy.

You turn around and open a message in a bottle.
 You read the contents: "To whom it may concern: I am a survivor of the attack on your ship. Please, contact me if you wish to discuss this matter further."
You throw the message into the ocean.

The bottle comes shooting out of the water and cracks Roxy in the nose.
 She drops her gun and falls to the ground unconscious.
You grab your gun and run towards the scientist.
"Hey!" He says, "Don't you dare touch me!"
You pull your gun and point it at him.

Next time on "Dagon and the Whale":

You and Roxy are captured by the government and locked up. You are sentenced to death.
You ask, "Why are we being executed?"
Roxy replies, "We failed to capture the whale."

You wail loudly at not being able to capture the whale as the firing line points at you.

"You're next!"
The firing squad fires their guns and you are hit in the chest.
You fall to the ground dying.
Roxy is shot in the head.
After a few seconds, the guards drag you and Roxy away.