Cookie Monster absorbs souls from fortune cookies

Posted under Cookie Monster absorbs souls from fortune cookies, Story On By Chief

You are Casper Fontana, a successful Fortune Cookie writer who works for Wu's Chinese Food. You make very insightful statements and put them in cookies.

"I'm not the only one who can write," you say. "It's just that I have to be more creative than everyone else."

Wu chuckles.
You finish work early and meet up with your friend Tony at a bar.  Tony is a guy who thinks playing the Triangle will get him laid loads. He's got a lot of tattoos on his body and wears a lot of leather. You don't really pay attention to him until he starts talking about how he was once a member of the Hells Angels.
You see Cory, a police officer who is opening a fortune cookie. He is hoping for a new spine and for the bullet in his chest to be taken out.  His wish comes true, but he suffers a horrible fate. He gets his spine replaced with a broom-stick and the bullet explodes in his chest, killing him.
> You decide to hide Cory's body inside a giant fortune cookie.
You write a note saying "This man is hiding inside a cookie." and stick it to his uniform. You put him inside the cookie. He looks delicious.
You take a nibble, it's delicious.  Before you can take a second bite, you hear a scream, "Help! I'm being held prisoner in a Chinese fortune cookie factory."
You look around. You can't see anyone else in the factory, and you're sure they're talking about the cookie. It must be some ghost phenomenon.
A man walks in. "I'm Casper,"
You say, "That's funny, my name is Casper, too!  How can I help you Casper #2?"
He looks at the cookie in your hand and asks, "Would you like half?"
"Yes," you say, forgetting the ghost's warning.
You take a bite of the cookie and it tastes delicious.
> You read the fortune inside the cookie.
You read the fortune in your cookie. It reads,
"Prepare to die."
A man with a knife rushes up behind you and stabs you in the back.
> You slash the man in the face with your cookie cutter.
He falls to the floor. You pull the knife out of your back and swallow it, because you know you'll need a weapon later.
Mission Accomplished.
> You interrogate him before he dies to find out who owns the factory!
You start with something easy, "Who are you?"
He thinks for a moment and says, "I'm the owner of the factory.
you ask Hu Arr Yu why you send someone to kill me?
he says he is your wife's brother.
you say,"why?"
he says,"your wife loves you more than me"
> You write him a new fortune before he dies.
You quickly write a new fortune in his cookie. It reads, "Your sister loves you more than your wife."
You pull his last breath of life into the cookie and put it in your pocket.
> You go home and add the cookie to your collection of last breaths.
You arrive home and write down all that happened today in your journal.
Later, you add the cookie to your collection of last breaths. You fell asleep thinking about how delicious fortune cookies are.
You wake up and say, "I wish I could meet my childhood hero the Cookie Monster"
your wish comes true
Cookie Monster is standing in your bedroom eating all of your cookies that contain the souls of your enemies.   He looks at you and goes,"Meh."
"I love you!" you say.
"Choco Choco Leggos!" he says, "they're delicious."
"Can I have a cookie?"
Cookie Monster grows in size as he absorbs the souls contained in the cookies.  When he is done, the room is empty of all furniture and your soul.
"Cookie," he says.
The fortune cookie of the story:
"Your story is over."