Connor Kane, vegan weightlifter

Posted under Episode 131, Story On By Chief

You are on tour promoting your book of your vegan lifestyle and promotes the idea that you don't need to eat meat to be strong. In the middle of a morning talk show segment, you are challenged by an amateur weightlifter to lift contest. The starting weight is more than double what you normally do. You attempt to squat the weight, but both your femur bones snap in half, live, on air. The reporter comes up and asks you.

> You say "I'll bet you can't" You stop talking and look at the camera and say: "I'm not going to lie. I'm afraid. But I think I can do it". The audience is shocked. They all start applauding. A couple people even laugh. You're sure they thought you were dead.

One member of the audience stands up, it's Dean Beans, comic book shop worker. Dean eats pork and beans for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Dean walks up to the stage and lifts the weights with ease, then goes and sits back down and stares at you.

He looks like he wants to kill you. When he sees you, his face turns white and his eyes go wide. Then he starts laughing.

You attempt to get up but your legs are a bloody gelatinous mess due to the accident. Dean Beans has a look on his face that says "I told you so".

He picks up the barbell and puts it between his knees, squats down, and begins doing splits while holding onto the bar. His hands are covered in blood and his shirt is torn open from being dragged across the floor. The crowd watches him as he moves around the room, picking up a chair and throwing it at you with incredible speed.

You challenge Dean Beans to an arm wrestling match.

He accepts. Your muscles bulge out and you feel stronger than ever before. The announcer says that you've won a battle, but lost a friend. "That was a great fight," he says. Chapter 3: The End...

You after surgery, you get new blade legs to replace you weak frail vegan legs, and challenge Dean Beans to a race. He doesn't respond to your calls and emails, so you decide to pay him a visit at the comic book store.

You arrive there just in time to see him trying to clean up some spilled pig blood off the counter and running away. You follow him into the basement where he slams the door shut behind you. You search the house, but find no sign of him. You head back upstairs and call the police, who come out and tell you that you have the wrong person.

You apologize and ask the police "Where does Dean Beans live?".

The Police Officer replies "Oh, sorry about that, we got the wrong guy". You explain that you know who he is and that he killed himself two days ago. The officer seems surprised by this information. "So you found out who he was?" You reply "Yeah, I went through his stuff and found his journal. It was full of drawings and poetry".

You decide to bring Dean Beans back to life. You go to the cemetery and find his grave. Then you sacrifice a chicken during a lightening storm above his grave. You see a hand reach through the wet earth.

Suddenly, Dean Bean emerges from the ground and grabs you. He tells you how disappointed he is in you and begs you to let him live. You refuse and blast him with lightning bolts. You hear him scream in agony. You continue to shoot him until he dies.

your vegan plant based legs melt in the rain and you have to crawl back to your car in the mud.

Chapter 4: The Beginning... It took you three years to recover fully. After you recovered, you decided to change your name to "Connor Kane". You still had dreams of becoming a professional wrestler, but nothing came of them. As for Dean Beans, he died of a heart attack in 2006. He was 62.