Chapter 1: You are Joe the robot killing hitman.

Posted under Story On By Chief

Chapter 1: You are Joe the robot killing hitman. You have made your living killing robots that try to attack your fellow humans. Your weapon of choice is:
a human head mounted on a mechanical arm with a small machine gun on the end.
The head is that of your best friend Mark Zuckerberg who was gunned down by robots. Now Mark gets to watch you avenge his death every time you kill another robot bastard. Your next robot target is:
Your new boyfriend Ben, the son of Facebook founder Mark.
You find overwhelming evidence that Ben is actually a robot. You HATE that the robots would stoop so low as to mess with your emotions, but you know what has to be done. You invite Ben to a remote cabin in the woods for a romantic weekend. But you will kill him no what and have heavily booby trapped the surrounding area. You sit in the cabin and wait for Ben to arrive.
As he walks in, he sees a heavily armed man with a gun standing in front of him. The two of you stare at each other and suddenly a gunshot rings out.
But it wasn't from your gun! There is someone outside that just tore Ben in half with machine gun fire. You yell outside, "Human!" and in walks
...
Immediately you feel a wave of panic wash over you. Was this really the same person who killed Mark? Then it hits you.
Mark wasn't killed by a robot like you first thought. Mark was killed by a human! Mark's killer walks in the front door and reveals themselves:
a tall slender blonde woman with long blond hair. You stare in shock at her. She looks like her. She looks exactly the same! Not even her head is different!
You recognize her as your long lost daughter Petunia! You both put down your weapons and hug. You ask Petunia, "But why would killed Mark Zuckerberg?" and Petunia replies,
"He was a fucking idiot!"You look at Ben, and his body is gone. He was replaced by...
A GRENADE! You and Petunia are able to dive out of harms way just in time! You watch the cabin explode and you realize a party of Robo Hunters is chasing you!
You tell your love, "We gotta get outta here." She says, "We'll go to my parents house and hide in their basement. They'll be there soon."
You and Petunia hide in the basement under a mountain of stuffed animals. You watch as one of the Robo Hunters tries to scan for you, but all of the stuffed animal faces are overloading his facial recognition software and so it leaves and you are safe... for now.
You and your family live happily ever after.You live in a high tech house with a life sized cardboard cutout of Mark and his wife Diana.