Boris Fletcher, a real estate investor that only buys houses that are currently on fire

Posted under Episode 126, Story On By Chief

You show up at a Ferrari dealership that is on fire. The dealer offers you a new car if you buy the property right now.

What do you do?

You take him up on that deal. You buy the Ferrari and peel out of the dealership while the fire department rushes into to put out the fire.

You drive off with your brand new ride.

You are at a stoplight and start revving the engine at the girl in the car next to you. The Ferrari catches on fire.

It's not long before it explodes, killing her instantly. The following day, another one of your cars explodes. This time though, the explosion kills its owner instantly.

You read a Yelp review of the dealership and realize they specialize in exploding cars. You drive the to dealership to complain.

"I'm sorry sir," a voice says from behind a counter. "We don't want to ruin anyone's life". The man who answers the phone looks like he just got out of bed. He has short brown hair and wears a pair of glasses. "Is there something we can do?" you ask.

You accuse him angrily "DID YOU JUST GET OUT OF BED?!".

He seems surprised by this accusation. "No, I mean yes sir, but I thought you were going to say no".

You demand to see a manager.

The manager opens the door and walks inside. "Sir, why are you yelling at me?". The manager asks. "Because I was screaming at my Ferrari that exploded yesterday!" You exclaim. "Yes, but I'll explain everything later when the insurance adjuster comes around". You walk outside. "Now what am I supposed to do about this?"

You announce you are the new owner of the dealership, and this is an episode on "Undercover Boss." All the employees start shaking in fear.

> You hire a lawyer You decide to hire a lawyer immediately. The lawyers office will be located in a very dangerous neighborhood. If you get killed, the case may never go anywhere. You get a call from the lawyer. "Hi, I'm here". You answer. "Hello, I think you should come over to my house".

You ask the lawyer "Why do you have your office in a dangerous area? Why don't you get a new office in a better neighborhood? I'm just curious.".

The lawyer hangs up. You wonder how you're going to convince the insurance company that the dealership isn't worth protecting.

The victim's families threaten to sue, so you invite them and your shitty lawyer to a party on the brand-new Ferrari yacht. They all agree.

A few months pass... Your car dealership is doing well and is getting more business than ever. You've gotten rid of the old owners, the new ones aren't even bad anymore. It's just you who needs work. There's been some changes to the policy, but the new guy is cool. He won't let you down.

You meet your new co-owners, and they seem even cooler in person. One of them introduces himself. "Hi, I'm Tal, Tal Iban," he tells you.

"And this is my brother John, John Iban". Your eyes widen as you recognize them. "John and I used to own a furniture store together! We ran it for years! What happened to us?" They both laugh. "Well, you know..". John starts to say. Suddenly, the phone rings. It's the lawyer again.

You ask for an apology from your lawyer and then ask him what's up?

You learn his name is Michael. "Michael, please, I beg you, don't make me talk to him. Please. Just tell him to leave me alone". They look at each other and smile. "Alright, alright, we'll be nice". You hang up. After hanging up with your lawyer, you head back home and grab your new car.

You Give the exploding car to your lawyer.

You feel pretty good about yourself. You're going to be rich and famous soon. One night, you wake up and find the phone ringing. It's Tal. "Hey Tal, it's me. Are you still awake?" "Yeah, yeah, I'm up. What's wrong?" "This is really important". "Oh, okay".

You continue.

"My friend wants to borrow the car I gave him last week. Is it ready yet?" "Yep, it's parked right over there". You give the car to Tal. "So, did you need help or anything?" "Nah, I had a lot of fun. Thanks for lending me the car". "Okay, bye".

You see Tal drive off in the Ferrari and watch it explode in the distance. You blow a kiss into the wind.

THE END