BONUS STORY #3 – Bob Orsam – You are a student at the prestigious Fungus Institute.

Posted under Episode 0, Story On By Chief

You are a student at the prestigious Fungus Institute. It is your first day there. You arrive late, so you don't really know how things work yet.
  Your name is


am. You were just told to meet Professor Fungus, who was also just assigned as your new teacher for a class called: "The History of Fungi."
But no one is around and no one will answer your questions.

Professor Fungus tells you most of the campus went on a field trip to

 the museum yesterday. So everyone should be back soon.

You decide to look for them in the museum. When you get inside, the exhibits are all covered with tarpaulins. No one knows what happened, but it must have been bad because none of the museum workers have come back

You notice the fungal spore have begun rapidly spreading throughout the museum. You see a large fungal pod that resembles an egg begin to open! Out from the pod comes a little creature that looks like

 an alien from the movies.

It grabs onto one of the exhibits. You rush over to help free the exhibit. But suddenly, you hear an ear-shattering screech coming from above.

Your eyes dart toward the ceiling to see

 the giant alien fungus slowly descending towards you!
You run to try and get away but you slip and fall into another part of the museum. A fungal monster quickly runs by you and you turn just in time to see it open its mouth wide and swallow the exhibit whole!

You have to use your minimal knowledge of fungal monsters to beat it! You think of 3 ways to get rid of all this fungus:

1. Burn it all
2. Electrocute it
3. Fungicide

You choose all three!

 You set the fire to burn the fungus. You pull out your phone and try to call the Fungus Institute's emergency number, but it won't go through! Then you realize you are not at the Fungus Institute anymore!

You obtain a mysterious fungus that when consumed gets you high and changes a random material into another random material, shifting the laws of reality. You eat fungus and suddenly

 you are wearing an incredibly tight purple latex body suit.
A male sex worker comes up to you. He is very handsome, but you are distracted because he keeps looking down at your boobs.

You lean in for a kiss.

 He grabs your ass and thrusts his tongue down your throat. You moan into his mouth as you feel him push deep inside your pussy. His hands squeeze your breasts, making them bigger.
You get off on being dominated by him.

An employee of the museum watches you as you are hallucinating most of this and are actually making out with the gift shop mannequin.

 She doesn't know what to do.
Finally you leave the mannequin and return to reality. The worker is still there and now has a look of fear on her face. "Oh no," you say, "I am so sorry!"

The museum employee tells you there is an emergency containment protocol, but it is hidden in the basement of the museum which is the most covered in the spreading fungal monstrosity.

She says it will take all night to clean up the fungus, so she needs you to help.
You agree to help because you are just there for the night anyway.

You learn the following cool fungus facts:

1. A new species of fungus can be created every day.
2. Some types of fungi have the ability to create other life forms such as viruses and insects.
3. Some fungi use their spores to travel through the air.

You level up and gain the following anti-fungal powers:

1. The power to make fire!
2. The power to electrify the fungus!
3. The power to transform it into a completely different material!
You use all three of your powers and defeat the giant monster fungus that ate the exhibit!

You are hailed as a hero and given an honorary degree from the Fungus Institute. You decide to start your own business which you name

 the "Fungus Institute."  You then have the entire museum converted into an office.

Your new business specializes in the following fungus related tasks:

1. Anti-fungal training
2. Fungicide
3. Fungi pizza!
Now that you have a company, it's time to expand. You build the world's most awesome headquarters which is made out of fungus and filled with fungal creatures.

You create the following fungal creatures:

1. A giant zombie worm!
2. A gigantic flesh-eating mushroom!
3. A deadly fungal assassin!
You create the following fungal products:
1. Antifungal shampoo
 Fungal soap
3. Fungi ice cream
4. Fungus coffee
5. Fungi cereal
You also create the following fungal technology:
1. A powerful anti-fungal gun!
2. The Fungus Institute App!
3. Fungal powered vehicles!
You become a huge success and are one of the wealthiest people in the world. You live happily ever after!

The moral of the story:

 If you can't beat them join them.