BONUS STORY #2 – Milton Insecticide – You are Milton Insecticide and can only kill insects and arachnids.

Posted under Episode 0, Story On By Chief

You are Milton Insecticide and can only kill insects and arachnids.
You have been hired by the local farmers to kill a particularly dangerous insect that has been causing havoc.
The farmer's son was stung by it and is now suffering from anaphylaxis.

You have a very unusual way of killing insects, you use your trusty

 spray gun to pump insecticide directly into their heads!
You set off down the path towards the farm.
You notice some children playing in a field near the village. You walk past them, not giving them a second thought.

You say to the children, "Pass the Dutchie 'pon the left hand side *sing*"

But they don't hear you because you've just pumped a deadly insecticide into their heads.
They begin to froth at the mouth and choke as they die.
Their parents are horrified but they know there is no time to call an ambulance as the farmer's son is still dying.

You use your water pistol full of Human Blood to

 put out the flames of the burning house while the farmer's family run for shelter.
You're confused about what to do next, so you decide to help yourself to the farmer's food supplies. You eat some of his potatoes and cheese, before you make your way to the barn and take a
 machete from the shed.

You wander back into the village and tell the villagers that you have come to rid them of this horrible insect.
Everyone cheers and praises you, but you quickly discover that you have accidentally sprayed a lot of the human blood around the village.

You have sprayed so much blood that you summon a blood insecticide meteorite shower.

 The bloody meteors rain down from the sky and wipe out everything in their path.
The people of the village are reduced to cowering in terror as you continue spraying the town with your insecticide.

You feel bad for essentially the town Mr Bean style, and to make it up to everyone, you offer to

 give away all your merchandise for free!
People flock to your store and start loading their cars with as much Milton insecticide and blood spray as they can carry.
There is so much demand that the supermarket has closed early to deal with the influx of shoppers.

You realize that doing this has only made the problems in this small farm town exponentially worse. You look out and see the devastation:

 houses are on fire, and hundreds of people are dead or dying.
The farmer's family have also been affected by the human blood. They are now covered in the substance and you know there is no saving them.

You decide things are too far gone and legally change your name to

 "Milton the Mosquito".

You wake up to find the house empty and all the doors open.
You check your wallet to see how much you have left and it's still good.

You head to the nearest town of

 Tinsley and find it completely deserted.
Your friends at the factory told you that you shouldn't drink the local water because it could be contaminated, but you didn't listen. You drank the whole bottle before realizing it was bad for you.

You feel your stomach grumble and then

 begin to feel a little lightheaded.
You ask around town for some food, but nobody seems interested in talking to you.
You think you are going to die soon, and you don't want to go out alone.

You summon a swarm of mosquitos through your blood magic.

They fly around and bite people in their face and neck.
The townspeople panic and try to run away from you, but the mosquitos keep chasing them.
The townspeople scream as they try to escape the swarm, but they are quickly killed by the mosquito bites.

One farmer is strong enough and brave enough to rise up against you, and his name is

He runs up to you and tells you that he is going to make you pay for what you've done to his town.
You tell him that he can do whatever he wants to, because you have already summoned your blood-hungry 



Farmer Steve reveals his ultimate counter weapon against your mosquitos: a

 gigantic hand-pumped water hose. He begins to pump the water into the air around you, and when he does so, you feel an excruciating pain in your head.
Your body is covered in a blue fog and you pass out.

The moral of the story:

 "Always read the label before taking the medicine."