Bertrum Institute Cures Zombism

Posted under Bertrum Institute Cures Zombism, Story On By Chief

You are Bertrum Institute, a scientist trying to survive in a world filled with infected zombies everywhere. You have a backpack and a solar powered tablet. You pound your fist on the table angry that you still haven't found the cure to the infection. You turn to your assistant and say "We need to get out of here!"

"What?" he asks.

"The cure is right there." 

He looks at you as if you're crazy.
> pound harder on the table and stare more intensely at your assistant

You continue to stare at him and then suddenly punch him hard in his face. He falls backwards off the chair and onto the floor. The others look shocked by this sudden outburst of violence.

"I'm sorry sir," he says, but it's clear that he doesn't mean it.
> "ok everyone roll call, who all is here anyway?"

Everyone stands up from their seats and begins to stand. Some of them are shaking uncontrollably. They don't know what just happened, but they do know that something has changed around them.

"Roll call!" you shout.
> grab the shortest female scientist by the collar and scream in her face

She turns her head and sees you standing over her. She screams and runs away screaming for help. You follow her running towards the door.

"Hey wait! I didn't..." she starts to cry before you slam the door shut behind you.
> soothe her by rubbing your hand against her cheek

You hold her hand and rub it against your cheek. She lets go of your hand and smiles at you.

"Thank you...for saving me..." she says softly.

You smile back at her and nod.
> tell her you've cut her research funding and the blow a kiss

You quickly grab her hand and squeeze it. She blushes deeply and hugs you tightly.

"I'm glad we could be friends after all..." she says quietly.

"Well I guess we can stay like that forever then," you reply with a grin.
> throw her back into the main conference room and then slam the table even harder and then we start the meeting for the cure

You grab the nearest woman and throw her into the conference room. You then grab another one and slam her down on the table. You then grab a third one and shove her into your arms, making sure not to let go until you hear someone else yell "Stop!"
> go over the meeting agenda.  first things first "how do you cure zombism?"

"How do you think I feel about you?" you ask.
"Oh come on, how could we forget? We should probably discuss this again sometime soon."
"No way! It's not going to happen! There's no cure, there never will be!
> announce to the room "I have the cure." and dramatically pull a test tube out of your butt.

You grab the bottle of cure and take a deep breath.

You then turn to the rest of the group and announce loudly:

"I have the cure, now let's get to work!"

The room erupts into cheers. Everyone is happy that you found a solution. After thanking everyone for helping you, you leave through an underground tunnel.
> karate chop a non binary person

As you walk along, you see a man walking down the street. He looks like he's lost.

"Hello sir, would you mind if I use your phone to call my wife?"

He doesn't look surprised or anything; he just walks past you without saying anything.
> pull the mans pants down in retribution

You run up to him and grab his pants. He yells something and you punch him in the face. The man falls backwards, hitting his head on the pavement.

"What was that for?" he asks as he gets up from the ground.
> "next time acknowledge me, I just found the cure for Zombism.  I'm Bertrum Institute, bitch!  God damn it!"

You continue to follow the man who turns around and runs away.

"Next time, acknowledge me, I just found the cure for Zombism. I'm Bertrum Institute, you're next!"

After running several blocks, you find yourself at a dead end. You decide to keep following the man until he disappears completely.
> look for a zombie to test the cure

You stop following the man and look around. There isn't anyone here so you can safely assume that the man must've been hallucinating.
> test myself for zombism and check my watch.

You quickly put your clothes back on and start checking yourself for signs of infection. Your hands shake a little bit but nothing too bad. You also notice that you haven't had any hallucinations since you started testing the cure yesterday afternoon...or maybe it's because you've been eating human flesh recently?
> check if my penis has lesions and is still there and attached

You go over to your privates and examine them. They aren't infected or anything, they're fine. But then again, you never thought about it before so you didn't really think about it much either.

"Well I guess this means I don't need to worry anymore."
> find a zombie to have sex with

You walk over to a nearby house and knock on the door. A woman answers the door. She seems pretty young, probably only 15-16 years old. Her name is Anna and she's very friendly with you right off the bat.

"Hi Anna, what brings you out here?"
> say "Bible study!" and run away

Anna smiles and says "Oh, I know what you mean. We were talking about the Bible and how we should read it more often when I came across some verses that seemed relevant today."

She takes your hand and leads you into her home where she shows you all sorts of books.
> ask where her Mom is and if she is single and also lonely

"My Mom is married, but she lives alone. My Dad died a few years ago and my mom has taken care of us ever since."
> ask "who is us, is there someone else here?  take me to your mommy's panty drawer"

"I guess you could call me mommy, but I prefer to be called mom."

You nod and say "Okay, let's get going."

As you and Anna walk through the streets, you begin to talk about various things.

"So, do you like reading the Bible?"

"Yeah, I used to read it every night as a kid. It was one of the few times I wasn't forced to sleep in."

"What did you learn from it?" Anna asks.
> peace sign

"It taught me not to judge people."

"Do you believe in God?"

"No, I'm an atheist."

"Why do you think most atheists are?" Anna asks.

> "Are what?  Right?"

"Right, because I'm an atheist and you're a religious person."

"That makes sense. So why are you here?"

"Because I want to help you save humanity."

> ask her to take you to her mom's place and on the way encounter a huge hoard of zombies.  there are about 5000 zombies blocking your path, there is no escaping.

"Okay, okay, I'll just run past them."

"But you can't escape death! If you die now, it will kill everyone else!"

"Then I'm sorry for being an idiot and running away from my life. Goodbye."