Antonio Criminalli, party boy

Posted under Episode 98, Story On By Chief

You wake up on the living room floor and see a dozen people sleeping under pillows, because they had a pillow fight. You also see that your TV has a hole in it, your carpets have been ripped up and there's a guy sleeping in your the fridge. You look amused, while saying, "Looks like I threw quite the party.".

> You go to the kitchen You head towards the kitchen where you find a man with a large knife standing by the sink. He looks at you as if he is going to attack you, but then you notice a note on his hand and say, "Ah, this isn't good".

the man then falls over dead. You find a knife in his back. You do not know who the murderer is. It is now a fun murder mystery. You read the note on his hand.

"I'm sorry for killing you. I just wanted to get rid of my father so I could live my life freely without any worries. I hope you can forgive me".

You throw a funeral party for the people that died at your previous party.

You start drinking heavily and soon pass out. The next day you wake up and realize how much time has passed.

You wake up into a nightmarish world 8 hours in the future, like a modern Rip Van Winkel.

A group of humans named the "Ripoffs" (or "The People") have taken control of the city and are using you as their slave. They force you to work all kinds of jobs such as cleaning toilets, working in hospitals or even driving cars. You are now forced to work with them. But what should you do?

You throw a work party with the Ripoffs.


You demand to meet with the leader of the "Ripoffs" (or "The People").

YOU GET TO THE MEETING AND THERE IS NO ONE ELSE IN THE ROOM! YOU CAN'T BELIEVE IT! You try calling everyone, but nobody answers. You think maybe someone else was invited, but you cannot remember anyone being invited. You call the police who tell you that they will investigate the matter.

You call the party police, they show up with a clown and a magician and tell you "Yep, you are right, there's definitely no one at this party!".

You call your friends from the past and ask them if they were invited too, but they don't answer. You call your friends from the future and ask them if they were invited, but they don't answer. You call your mom and dad and tell them that you love them and want to come home, but they don't answer.

You mail yourself an invite to your own birthday party. You RSVP yes and wait for a response. It arrives and you order a bunch of large pizzas. You ask the pizza delivery guy to party with you.

He says sure, but only for a few minutes. He comes back and tells you that he got an email about a party and he doesn't feel comfortable coming. You're disappointed, but you accept his decision. You decide to make your own invitation to the party.

You order chinese food and invite the delivery man inside to party with you.

When you arrive to the party, you find that it's full of people. Some are dressed in fancy clothes and some are wearing rags. There are two bartenders. One drinks beer and smokes cigarettes and the other drinks wine and eats baguettes. You sit down and wait for your turn to talk to the bartender.

You sit down and talk to the bartender.

"So why aren't you drinking?" you ask. "Because I've never drank alcohol before!" The bartender replies. "Well, you'll be able to tonight!" You reply. "That's true, but I haven't had a drink since yesterday morning..".

You drink too much and get thrown out of your own party. The bartender locks you out of your own home.

Your parents are still alive and you have no idea where you are. Your parents are still alive and you have no idea where you are.

You sneak back in through the window and try to blend in.

You hide behind a dresser and pretend to sleep. You crawl around the house until you reach your bedroom. You take off your clothes and lie down on the bed. You close your eyes and drift off...

You are woken up by a young couple having sex on your bed right next to you.

You quickly grab your pistol and shoot both of them. You shoot them again in the face and kill them both.

You turn yourself into the party police. Officer Clown tells you "Yeah, definite party fowl" and squirts you with his flower.

You fall unconscious and die.

You wake up in heaven. There is a killer party going on. People look at you then turn away in disappointment.

> You continue You awake in hell. A woman holds a gun to your head and orders you to dance. She puts her foot on your throat and forces you to dance until she shoots you.

Satan takes one look and you and reacts with disgust, you are sent to Purgatory.

You awaken in Hell. Satan is holding a knife to your neck. He looks at you and asks "What did you do to deserve this fate?". You say nothing and stare blankly ahead while Satan continues to speak. "Nothing, you fucking idiot". Satan says, "You are dead". Suddenly a bright light shines above you blinding you momentarily.

It's God, you think he is there to save you, but he has an even bigger knife that he holds against your throat. Satan and him lock eyes and nod like they know exactly what to do. Then...

God smiles and releases the knife, you drop to the floor gasping for air. Satan walks over to you and grabs you by the wrist. He pulls you to your feet and kisses you passionately. God smiles and walks out the door leaving Satan alone.

You tell Satan "It's party time".

The Party Continues...