You are the Creature from the Black Lagoon, a guy who is tired of litterbugs. There's one particular person that has been driving you crazy. His name is Cory. Cory keeps leaving piles of clothes in your lagoon. You are so mad at him that you go to his house to confront him. You say to him, "Stop leaving your clothes in my lagoon!"
"What do you want?" he asks.
"I want you to stop leaving your clothes here," you tell him.
He says, "No way. I'm not going to stop."
"Then I guess we're going to have to get even," you say.
You grab Cory's bag and throw it into the lagoon.
You tell Cory if he is gonna litter in your lagoon, he is gonna live there with you! Cory begrudgingly agrees and you are forced to get along with his wacky ways! You notice that in addition to littering, Cory also has the following annoying habits:
He likes to steal your food, try to turn you into a jellyfish, and he thinks he can make a lot more money by selling his body than you can.
This makes you very angry because you are quite the opposite. You don't like to steal food or sell yourself for money. But you do love your fish.
You tell this to your therapist and Dr Therapist from the Black Lagoon tells you that you really just need to communicate your feelings to him. You wait patiently at the Black Lagoon for Cory to show up, but he is very late coming back.
Finally, after a long time without seeing him, Cory shows up. You greet him warmly and ask him what is wrong. He says, "Nothing. I was just running some errands."
"Well, why were you running errands when you weren't supposed to?" you ask.
Cory looks down and says, "I thought you would be gone for awhile."
You read a letter out loud about how Cory makes you feel and all the things that annoy you. Cory listens intently and responds
, "Oh, that's right. I forgot about that. That's why I went shopping today."
You look at him skeptically and say, "So, you bought stuff to give away."
"No, no," he says, "I bought stuff to sell."
"Why? What do you plan to sell them for?" you ask.
Cory blushes and says he got you a birthday present. It was supposed to be a surprise, but since you needed to know... Cory presents a large box. You open it and see that Cory has got you a
new fish tank filled with tropical fish! You gasp in delight! You thank him and tell him that you love it.
Cory says, "Now you can take care of me whenever you want."
"That's great!" you say.
"But now I have to go," Cory says.
"But, I still haven't seen your fish," you protest.
Cory points to the Lagoon and says, "They are all swimming around here somewhere..."
You walk over to the Lagoon and watch as Cory's fish swim around on their little floating rocks. Suddenly, Cory swoops in and grabs one of the fish and gives it to you! You hold it in your hand and say, "Thanks!"
"You're welcome," Cory says.
The moral of the story:
If you want to get rid of a jerk, give him something he wants.
You have been spending more time at the Black Lagoon lately and Cory has become even more annoying. You tell him that you are tired of his bad behavior and he says he will stop. You say to him, "Are you serious?"
"Yes," he says.
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