An American man named Pat who is at the airport

You walk up to one of the airport employees and speak in a fake-sounding French accent, while saying, "I'm a French woman and I'd like a ticket to Japan.".

The employee looks at you with surprise, but says that he doesn't know anything about such a request. He asks if you have any identification, and you show him some money you found in your purse. He takes out his own ID and shows it to you, which has your name and picture on it. Then he hands you a piece of paper with your flight information written on it.

You accept the flight information and head through security and to the boarding gate.

> You board Flight AY-4262 You get off the plane, and head toward the check-in counter where you find a young Japanese girl behind the counter. She smiles when she sees you. "Hello," she says. "My name is Yuki, and this is my boyfriend, Masaru".

You say "moshi moshi. Konichiwa. Konbanwa."

("Hi" and "Bye") and leave her to talk to her boyfriend. As you wait for your flight, you notice several other people waiting as well, including a couple of old men sitting near the exit. They both seem very tired, but they don't seem to mind being there.

You go up to the old men and steal their medicine.

After all, you're not going to be able to afford food or water on your journey. When the plane lands, you take the first available seat. The old man sits next to you and the young Japanese girl sits across from you.

You realize the old man is actually a woman dressed up as an old man. "You lose your ID, too?" you ask her.

> Yes She nods. "Yes, I do. But how did you even get my name? And why am I sitting next to you anyway?" You smile. "Because I really need a friend right now". The old man sighs. "Well... I guess we'll just call ourselves friends then". The young girl laughs.

You call the flight attendant and order vodka shots for your new friends.

"And now, let's enjoy our time together!" When you arrive in Tokyo, you spend the rest of the day and night at a bar called "The Old Man's Place". There is no way you can drink enough alcohol to make it through your journey, so you end up spending most of the night there.

You realize you are at a senior citizens' home, not a bar. You sell the medicine you stole so you can have some WAM (Walking Around Money).

Day 7: Tuesday, January 24, 2000 It seems like forever since you left your house. You haven't been back since the previous Friday. You spent the entire weekend looking for the correct luggage size to take with you, but nothing seemed to fit. Finally, you realized you were going to have to buy a bigger suitcase.

You come across a small bubble milk tea shop. Your order your favorite drink, Hokkaido Cheese Burn.

You are walking along the street when you hear someone calling your name. You turn around and see a little girl holding a big red balloon. She waves at you, and you wave back. You didn't think you would ever see her again. She runs over to you and gives you a big hug. "Aki! Aki! We used to play hide and seek together!"

You realize the girl think you are her old nanny. You decide to play along.

> You pretend to cry You begin to sob, and the girl hugs you tighter. "We used to play until late at night. We used to run away together..". You start to laugh and hug her back. "No, we had to run a lot, because Mom was always worried about us. She said you were sick too". She starts crying harder.

You While the young girl is crying, you steal her medicine.

She begins to panic. "What will happen to me?" She tries to tell you everything, but you ignore her. "I'm sorry," you whisper. "I won't hurt you anymore". She cries more. "Please, please, please..".. You grab her hand, hold it tightly, and kiss it. "It's okay," you say.

your mother is with the angels now."

You walk outside and sit by yourself. You look at the sky and wonder what the future holds. What is your life worth? Will you die alone?

You take the young girl to the nearest police station. You write, "9/11 is flat," hand the paper to her and tell her to go inside and give it to a policeman.

After that, you walk out of the station and try to figure out if you should stay here in the city or go somewhere else.

You take a tour of the Tokyo Skytree.

You don't know where else to go, though. Eventually, you feel lonely, so you decide to find a place to live. Day 8: Wednesday, January 25, 2000 A bright light shines in the sky. You watch it grow brighter and brighter until it finally disappears behind the sun. You stand up and look at the sky. You can't believe it. This is it.

You go to a conveyer-belt sushi restaurant and wait for it to happen.

After waiting for half an hour, you leave and return to the hotel. The elevator door opens and you enter. You walk into the lobby and notice several people eating their lunch. They look bored. You see a man sitting at a table. He looks up when he notices you standing nearby. He smiles and says hello. He asks you if you want anything.

The old man says "Aki, you've finally arrived. It's time to pilot your Gundam and save the galaxy."

You nod and walk over to him. "I'm ready". He grabs his Gundam from its box, which has a bunch of wires attached to it. He puts it on his shoulder and walks towards you. "So, this is the suit you're wearing". You stare at the machine in awe. "How did you know?"

he says "I've always known. Get the fuck into this tiny robot suit and let's save Japan"

He leads you to the cockpit and unlocks the door. Inside is a large helmet with two huge eyes. The top part of the helmet covers your face completely. In front of the mouth is a pair of long thin teeth. Behind the head is a black visor. On either side of the visor are four guns pointing straight forward. He shows you how they work.

You ask the old man if the long thin teeth have been brushed lately.

"Not recently", he replies. "They need brushing every once in awhile. I use some kind of toothpaste called 'Fluorine'. It's not very strong, but it works well enough" You ask if there is any other way of getting rid of them. "There is another way".

You say "What is it?"

"Well, Fluorine is also used as a poison gas by the Earth Federation Army. If you put it on your teeth, it'll kill anyone within seconds. Just spit it on your teeth and then blow into them. Then rinse off and repeat. It really does work". You ask if he knows any doctors.

Then you blow fluorine into his face.

"Oh my god, that hurts!", he exclaims. "Don't worry, it doesn't taste bad" he continues. "But, it must be done regularly" he adds. You continue asking questions. "Why do you wear this thing anyway?" The old man explains "Because I love Japan. Because I want to help Japan".

You say "How old are you?"

> You 18 The old man says "18. I'm going to become famous one day. I want to make sure I'm still alive when that happens" You say "Are you going to become a doctor?"

You tell the old man you have never been to a doctor. You also tell him that fluourine is a government conspiracy and that it is in your drinking water.

You ask him if he would mind giving you something to eat.

You ask for some sushi, or nori snacks, or natto or something.

He says he doesn't have much food left, but he will get some later. As he leaves, you think about all the things you could do with the money he gave you.

You fly the Gundam suit to the Fukishima reactor. You check the radiation levels.

You have no idea what you're doing. After a few minutes, you realize that the suit isn't working right. You start losing power. You ask the old man for more power cells. He tells you that he needs to talk to someone first. You follow the old man outside. When you arrive, you see a tall man wearing a white coat. He stares at you.

You say "Who are you??"

The old man says "It's me, Dr. Kars. I'm here to take back control of Fukishima. We were taken hostage by the Earth Federation Army. They wanted us to build nuclear weapons to destroy the Federation Army". You say "Wait...the Earth Federation Army? What do you mean we were kidnapped?" Dr.

Squish Dr Kars and hop in the Fukishima reactor like a hot tub.

"No, no! That's not true!" You say "We were abducted by aliens. They took our minds and bodies away. Now we're fighting back against them!". Dr. Squish begins laughing. "I didn't believe you. I thought you were just making this up as you went along". You sit down and begin crying.

your suit's power cells are regenerating. You realize the gundam suit is powered by tears.

Dr. Squish looks at you and smiles. He takes out a small device and activates it. A bright light shines inside the reactor room and a strange sound fills the air. Suddenly, the entire room becomes quiet. You hear a voice. It sounds like an alien language, but you can't understand a word.

You realize it is Japanese and realize you are pretty racist. You make a mental note to do better, then evacuate Dr. Squish from the premises.

After the incident, you decide to stop using the gundam suit. A week passes and you come across a town. It has everything except a hospital. You wonder why there aren't hospitals in this place. There are trees everywhere, yet there are no buildings. You don't know where the heck the town was located.

You buy a GPS and discover you are in the prefecture of Hikkokoima. You raise money for a hospital, which you name Waygu Medical Center.

A month goes by and you find out that the town was located in Kyushu. A year passes and you finally receive your license to practice medicine in Japan.

You perform many operations and save many lives. The town considers you a hero.

One year after the incident, you have graduated medical school. You feel happy about your accomplishment. One night while you are relaxing in your home, you suddenly remember something. You turn around and see a little girl standing before you. She is only 5 years old. She had fallen from her house and broke her leg.

You say "Sorry kid, no health insurance, no treatment."

You walk over to the girl and hold her hand. Then you notice a scar running through her arm. You smile and say "That's OK, I'll fix it, let me take care of it". As she starts to cry, you pull off her bandage and reveal a gaping hole in her chest. She gasps and screams "NO!! NO!!"

You insert a power crystal into the gaping hole.

You put a new bandage on her wound and say "Well now, I guess you won't be needing my help anymore. Goodnight, kid". You leave the girl in peace.

The next day the police knock on your door. They ask you if you know anything about this dead girl laying on your sidewalk with a crystal stuffed in her chest for some reason.

You tell them you don't know anything about it.

the police ask for your passport and gaijin card

. They take both of those things and throw you in jail.

You go before the judge and argue that being an asshole is not illegal.

They threaten to send you to prison. You plead guilty and agree to pay a fine.

You are bankrupt after paying the fine, so you start flying tourists around in the Gundham suit to raise money.

The suits cost hundreds of dollars each.

You forget to seal the fluoride and all the tourists inhale it and die.

> You time passes... Year 20 Your life has changed forever. You have become a famous doctor. People travel all over the world to visit you. Your fame has spread far beyond your small village. You even get invited to places like Tokyo, Kyoto and Hawaii. However, your notoriety has also caused problems for you.

You get more pussy than you can handle due to the fame.

The girls are too damn beautiful for their own good. Some of the girls are actually virgins when they meet you. You have been known to fuck a virgin just because shes cute. Your reputation has gotten so bad that people think you are a pervert. Most of the townsfolk hate you. You have lost control over most of your patients, and even some of your friends.

You meet a woman at a bar. You sick of all the pussy you are getting, so you don't even try to sleep witih her. She looks familiar. "I think you have my passport," she tells you.

"Oh? And what does this mean?" She says "It means you are not allowed to enter Japan any longer. Now, go back to your country". You run away as fast as you can. You never want to see Japan ever again.

You fly your gundam back to America during the 4th of July. Fireworks go off behind you and people cheer your arrival, then they realize you aren't the real Aki and lose interest.

Then you land in Japan. The whole country knows about your fame. Everyone wants to talk to you. Some people want to hire you. Others want to see your surgery techniques. Still others want to marry you. None of these requests will satisfy you though. You are bored of Japan. You wish you could live somewhere else.

You realize success and fame aren't what they are cracked up to be. You decide to fly back to your home planet and resume your boring, everyday life as the Prince of Norzoid 12.



You continue.