You are Ralph, a grocery store bag boy. You live behind the grocery store in a shack made out of paper bags. One day after work you discover someone has thrown your shack in the recycling. You... Set their car on fire Ride your push bike home Ask the night security guard to call you a taxi You see a cat. It looks hungry. You... You give the cat the last of your food and name him Stinkers. You feel hungry again that night and Stinkers is fat. You... Have to shoot Stinkers with your air gun because he's so fat. He runs away and your family leaves you for being mean. You get a call a Tony, your uncle who is willing to let you stay with him. He lives in a big house. You... take a swim in his pool. He was watching you through binoculars and assumes you want to be his partner in crime. Later that night he breaks into the grocery store and robs it. You're arrested and taken away by the police. You rat on your Uncle and are released from prison. Just as you are leaving the station, you hear your Uncle threaten your life as he is escorted away to jail. You... You beg the police for protection but they don't have enough men to protect you so you are killed that night. You are really scared and move to a different city where nobody knows you. You enter the witness protection program and change your name to Malph. Your whole family now consists of Grandma, Mom, Dad, Sister and your cat Stinkers. You live in a cabin in the woods and have to hunt for your food. > You hunt for food in the woods. One day while hunting you see a meteorite fall from the sky and land in the woods. You... Decide to stay far away, because they are obviously very dangerous. You get a visit from your new country bumpkin friend Jason, a friend of your uncle who suggests eating Stinkers. You... Lie to him and agree because you have just eaten Grandma. Get angry with him and threaten to call the police because you are tired of people eating your cat. Just then Mr Smiles, Tony's business partner and Man with a permanent smile, breaks down your cabin door. You... Grab your shotgun and blow his head off. Someone will find out who killed him and you'll be arrested so you... Grab the cat and escape out the back door. > You collect the meteorite and fashion a set of teeth from them to better eat people. You now have a split tongue and weird fangs. Your sister has run away, your parents are depressed and your Grandma is being eaten for dinner. You... > You go to family therapy with your parents. The family are still eating the cat but you are enjoying your new metallic teeth. You... Go to the police and accuse everyone of being cannibals. You get arrested and put in jail for life. You run into your Uncle Tony in jail who is now the leader of a drug smuggling called Potato Bandits. He says if you join him, you'll get some of the profits and they are very profitable. You... Join him and enjoy a life of crime. You feel that you have to do this yourself so... You find a job and become very successful. You make lots of friends but you never get married and live alone. Of course there is also another possibility. The police never believed you and you spend the rest of your life in jail. The moral of the story: NEVER eat your cat.
AIPD EP192 – 9/27/2020 – Story 3
Posted under AIPD EP192 - 9/27/2020 - Story 3, Story On By Chief