AIPD EP189 – 9/24/2020 – Story 3

You are Nathan.  You are sixteen years old.  You are attempting to obtain a driver's license.  You have borrowed your grandmothers Chrysler Celebrity and are about to take your driving test at the local DMV.  At the start of your driving test, the examiner tells you to slowly pull away and stop at the next stop sign.  You decide to...
You are Nathan. You are sixteen years old. You are attempting to obtain a driver's license. You have borrowed your grandmothers Chrysler Celebrity and are about to take your driving test at the local DMV. At the start of your driving test, the examiner tells you to slowly pull away and stop at the next stop sign. You decide to...
You are Nathan. You are sixteen years old.
is what you say as you drive into the stop sign at 40 miles per hour.  At the same moment as the crash, you and your romantic interest are killed.
You have been killed in a car crash.
> You fail your driving test.
You are a terrible driver and fail your driving test miserably.
You are Nathan. You are sixteen years old. You are attempting to obtain a driver's license.
> You bring your mother along for the driving test.
You decide to have your mother accompany you on the driving test. The fact that you cannot parallel park will not be a hindrance on this decision.
You pass your driver's test, your instructor tells you that was the smoothest test drive he's ever done and gives you a trophy. You now have a driver's license.
Finally you're in high school and you're really excited to be starting your new school year. When the time comes you meet Bob and Lou and together you walk off towards campus.
> You are confronted by the school bully, Jeff. He makes fun of you because you don't have a car.
As you approach school, you see a large group of students standing around at the front of campus. A lot of them arelooking in your direction and laughing.
> You pee your pants out of fear.
You decide that you don't want to deal with the embarrassment of pissing your pants in front of everyone so you hold it in and try to think about something else.
> You can't make it to the bathroom in time, so you pee in a random. Turns out, the lockers belongs to Jeff.
The stream of pee hits Jeff directly in the face. He stands there in shock as you accidently pee all over his clothes and backpack.
You are Nathan. You are sixteen years old.
> You borrow your grandmother's Batmobile and drive it to school.
You put the pedal to the metal and drive off towards school.
You are Nathan. You are sixteen years old and you're driving your grandmothers Batmobile to school.
> You pull up to school in the Batmobile in front of Jeff and his girlfriend.  She looks impressed.
You pull up in front of campus and get out of the car. You can already see that people are staring and pointing, but the one who catches your eye is Allison, the cute girl you met at camp.
Allison comes up to you and asks, "Were you able to pray the gay away at camp?"
She then walks away to join her friends, leaving you a little confused.
Meanwhile, the Batmobile is still idling and in drive...
You are Nathan. You are sixteen years old and your grandmothers brand new Batmobile has just been totaled.
"The least you could've done is steal a car that wasn't made of plastic,"
You Grandma arrives at school to pick you up, she is furious with you.
You step into her car and think about how today was a pretty shitty day.
> You wave goodbye to Allison.
You wave goodbye to Allison and get into the car.
> You tell your grandmother that Jeff the bully stole her batmobile. She is very mad at Jeff.
You take this opportunity to tell your Grandmother that it was actually Jeff who stole her Batmobile.
"Thank you Nathan, I'm glad I have a caring grandson who is always willing to help,"
The next day, you wake up and see Jeff on the news.  He is missing, your Grandma emerges from the basement cackling like a mad woman.
"YOU FUCKING BASTARD! YOU STOLE THE CAR AND THEN HAD SOMEONE ELSE PUMMEL JEFF WITH A BASEBALL BAT. NOBODY FUCKS WITH GRANDMA!"
 Jason, high school student who lives in his ford fiesta, visits you in the hospital.
"Dude, your grandmother is soooo hot. Allison might be a bitch, but she gives great blowjobs."
You can't wait to get out of the hospital.
You are Nathan.
You hate Jason with a fiery passion, but cannot deny how cool he is.
END
The morale of the story:
You are Nathan. This was a pretty important day in your life and you feel a little bad about lying to your Grandmother, but really, she had it coming.