You are Tony. You are at the doctor getting your blood tested. You are sitting in the doctor's office with your pants off when the doctor enters the room and tells you that the results of the blood test have come back and they are... "You are a very sick boy. You have SLYP. I have treated many people with this condition and it is terminal." You are shocked and speechless. The doctor tells you the medical name for the disease is Clownicitus. This disease makes your footsteps sound like clown horns. You have spent years in the company of clowns and have had contact with hundreds if not thousands of clowns. You are going to die from this disease! You feel obligated to tell all the clowns you've met in the past year that contracted this disease and that they should get tested. The lighting director for your company has the disease. Also the owner of the company and your accountant have it too. In your research of the disease, you find out that Bruce Wayne has been working on a cure. These clown horns are driving you bonkers. You have to find a way to cure this disease. You call your accountant who tells you that the boss is going to fire you because he thinks you might be spreading the disease at work. > You tell your boss Neil Patrick Harris,actor who thinks he's a qualified Doctor because he played Dr Dougie Howser, that the accountant Nestle Egg, A stand user from JJBA, is the one who is spreading the disease around the office. You ask the accountant if you're the one spreading the disease and he says you are. This makes you upset so you call your boss and tell him the accountant is the one who has it. You boss believes you and Nestle Egg is fired. You go back to work but you are still troubled by the disease. You call your dad for help with the disease and ask him what to do. He is not helpful. > You decide to write memoir about how you were discriminated against at work. You call the book SLYPadelphia. You write a memoir about how you were targeted for discrimination at work. You use the pen name Lisa Skye because you just want to keep your privacy. The memoir becomes a best seller and people become so moved by your story that a new foundation is formed for clownitus. You use the money from your book to found a new company that makes clown make-up. Your company grows and becomes very profitable and you become a millionaire business man. > You hold a charity event and make balloon animals for all the kids. You work long and hard at your company and you keep the clowns in all of your product lines. People from all over the world buy your clown make-up and your business is a success. > You wonder why you still feel incomplete. You spend the rest of your life helping sick clowns and living your successful life as a businessman. > You fund medical research and discover a cure for SLYP. You create and fund a foundation to cure the disease you once had. In the meantime, you start a family and live a life that is complete. > You one day you hear a honking sound coming from your son's room. You open the door and see him walking. His feet are making honking sounds. You don't ask questions, you take your son to see a doctor. You learn that your son has SLYP and must take a special medicine to cure him. The medicine is experimental, but it works. > You ask the doctor what SLYP stands for? She tells you that SLYP stands for Single Lin Knee Pads. She slaps her knee at the dumb joke and you give her a ghost balloon animal. > You say "No, but seriously, what does SLYP stand for?" The doctor tells you that it stands for S yndrome L eadership Y oung P opulation. > You take back the ghost balloon animal from the doctor. The doctor is offended that you would take back a gift and accuses you of being a "fickle minded consumer". You go home and learn that the experimental drug your son took has a terrible side: your son is now is a goose. You decide to raise him as a goose and give him a good life. The morale of story is: think twice before taking a drug from a doctor.
AIPD EP187 – 9/22/2020 – Story 3
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