AIPD EP184 – 9/19/2020 – Story 3

Posted under AIPD EP184 - 9/19/2020 - Story 3, Story On By Chief

You are Brad, a waiter in Los Angeles. You are trying to break into the movie business. A famous producer comes into your restaurant. You walk up to him and say...

"You should produce my one man show about my life."
"Can you give me a job in the movie you're going to make? I'll do anything." "I'm really a famous director, and this is my project."

"I knew you were the person I should talk to. I've written a screenplay about my life.
> You hand him your script called "Don't be a pussy.  Admit you're a butterfly"
You hand him your script called "Don't be a pussy. Admit you're a butterfly"
He sits down, and you continue talking...
"So, you've written a screenplay?"
"Yes, it's called 'Don't Be A Pussy. Admit You're A Butterfly'."
The producer starts a slow clap and verbally tells you that you have a deal.  You start filming the next day. Your future in the entertainment business is set!
You show up late to the set because you were too busy doing drugs and sleeping a hooker to celebrate the deal.  You tell the producer all of this.
"You're fired!" The producer screams.
You agree and ask the hooker you spent all your money on to come with you to the set so you can do more drugs and sleep with her.
> You start hiding out and sleeping at night on the Warner Brothers backlot, which looks like Brooklyn.
You go to the backlot and fall asleep. You wake up to the sun and realize it would only take a few hours of work to turn this into a permanent vacation.
You contract herpes from the hook you slept with and infect the craft services table.  Everyone on the Warner Bros lot that day now has herpes, including Ellen Degeneres.
You are fired from the movie.
"All my dreams are crushed!" You cry as you jump off the roof of your apartment building.
> You land in a pile of trash.
You land in a pile of trash. You stare at it for a moment and then decide to live there.
You spend the rest of your days in the dirty, smelly garbage.
You write a second autobiography "Admit You're A Muppet" and sell it to the ghost of Jim Henson. He is not amused.
You die of tetanus.
Jim Henson purchases your corpse and makes you into a Muppet. The show is a huge success.
A voodoo priestess from Louisiana on a tour of the muppet studio sees your body and reanimates you. Muppets look silly, she decides, and kills you again.
You head goes missing during the zombie uprising of '78.
> You go search for your head.
You go to the Empire State Building. You feel dizzy.
You all of a sudden remember that your head is missing. You fall over and die.
You replace your head with a pumpkin.
You spend your days walking around handing out compliments to children, and are generally nice to everyone you meet.
You are the happiest person in the world.
One day you get a letter in the mail asking you to join VCR Gang.
To get in you must go to the Empire State Building and jump off it. You do this and are immediately hired.
You wear roller skates for the rest of your life.
You are so happy you diarrhea.
You die.
The morale of the story: You were a muppet.
Click HERE to go back to the beginning
The blue door has been cut from this room. Take it to continue.
You take the blue door.
Click HERE to continue.
A huge wind starts blowing through the house, and the doors slam shut.
You feel a breath on the back of your neck, as if someone has been standing there the whole time.
> You say "Rebecca?"

> You say "Rebecca?"
You call out "Rebecca?"
A whisper enters your ear, "They got Rebecca."
"Who's they?" You ask.
"We did." They answer.
You turn around. Nobody is there.You turn around, but no one is there.
"Are you sure it's me?" a voice behind you asks.
You turn around, and see Rebecca, standing in front of you.
> You realize Rebecca has been made into a Muppet. THEY'RE ALL MUPPETS!
You realize that they've made a Muppet out of Rebecca. You're not sure how you feel.
"Now do you believe me?" The Muppet says in a seductive tone.