AIPD EP183 – 9/18/2020 – Story 2

Posted under AIPD EP183 - 9/18/2020 - Story 2, Story On By Chief

You are Giovanni Toscanini.  You are the captain of an Oasis class cruise ship named "The Princess".  You are navigating your way into the port of Barcelona, when all of a sudden you feel the ship come to a grinding halt.  Your first mate calls you on the radio and says...

"We've hit something, Captain!"

"I certainly hope that isn't what I think it is..." You reply.

"The Titanic?"

A long silence ensues.

"Oh shit."

Cursing, you rush to the deck to see what's going on.

The ship has stopped, and is lodged right in the middle of where the Titanic once sailed.
You realize that it was probably a bad idea to make your cruise ship look like an iceberg.

Do you:

A. Get your passengers off the ship and hope for the best?

B. Attempt to dislodge the ship from the sunken one?
> You tell everyone while you head to the empty buffet and eat out of stress.
You're not going to let this get you down. You're still a Princess!
You head to the buffet and shovel in a few handfuls of shrimp and crab legs without chewing.
A mother looking for her lost child barges in the dinning room and see's you stuffing you face.
"Have you seen a little girl? She's my daughter, her name is Isabella." She says.
You lift your head up to see her face. "No, sorry. I haven't seen her."
You notice the girl is Isabella Garcia Shapiro, the girl-scout that won this trip for designing the best idea for a cruise ship. You better hide that you know this, or else.
The mother begs for help from other passengers, and one man tries to get the ship off the iceberg.
> You dress up like a woman and try to sneak to sneak into a lifeboat.
The mother of Isabella is looking for her daughter. You spy on her and notice she is about to cry because she can't find her.
You ignore her and hop on the life boat. The mother of Isabella is still crying because her daughter is lost.
You get in the lifeboat as a woman and start yelling at the captain to lower it into the water before it's too late.
The captain ignores you because you are a woman. "Titanic is an overrated film. It was okay, but it wasn't that good." he thinks.
You yell at the captain again to lower the lifeboat, but he still ignores you. This time he insults you and talks about how women aren't important in his eyes.
> You remove your wig and and yell at him again.  You tell him he will be sacrificed to Poseidon!
You take off your wig and scream at the captain. He is so shocked, he orders the lifeboat to be lowered immediately.
His eyes are wide open. "She was a woman the entire time!"
You notice are in the last life boat available and you look up to see all the woman and children that will not get a lifeboat. The mother of Isabella is one of them.
You notice the ship begins to tip over and water begins rushing into it. "Oh no, this is not good." You panic.
You pull out leftovers from the buffet that you shoved in your dress and begin stress eating.  You sink the lifeboat and everyone hops on your fat bloated body, which is surprisingly buoyant. Your body floats to the surface of the ocean where you are saved by a random passerby. You are called hero for your bravery and rewarded.