AIPD EP179 – 9/14/2020 – Story 2

Posted under AIPD EP179 - 9/14/2020 - Story 2, Story On By Chief

You are Tony.  You are a Taxi cab driver in New York City.  A man jumps into your cab and yells "Follow that car!" and points ahead at a red Ferrari.  You give chase.

Who is this man? Why is he asking you to follow that car? Is he a cop? An FBI agent? A CIA operative? An Alien space-man?
You catch up and are able to overtake the car and crash it into a fire hydrant.  An alien figure escapes from the car and starts to run off, you chase him. He has a fair start on you but your able to catch him and tackle him to the floor.
You begin to question him, "Who are you? What do you want?" He doesn't speak.
> You say "ANSWER ME!!!"
You slap him across the face. He speaks, "Call me Carface, you fool."
"Why are you here?"
"I've come to take over your city, your world, your universe!
You pull out the alien's ID and it says "the Great Gazoo", his real name!
"Why are you here?"
"I have come to free my people from the tyranny of Mr. Big. He is a cruel and evil man."
"How do you expect to defeat him?
> You say "ice cream shop ice cream shop ice cream shop "
"I must firstly acquire a job at the local ice cream shop"
"Why do you want a job at the ice cream shop?
> You plan to poison Mr. Big's ice cream.
Carface is a nice guy, he gives you some of his poison to put into the ice cream.
You get an idea, why don't you join Mr. Big's gang instead?
Just then, Mr Big's gang enters the ice cream parlor and everyone orders banana splits.
You put some of Carface's poison into every banana split, and nobody notices.
> You watch them eat the poisoned banana splits, and smile.
They all eat the poisoned banana splits and die.
Carface says, "Now those were some good banana splits!"
You tell the Great Gazoo that you would like to go with him to his home planet so you can escape.
He says, "Sure thing Carface."
You have won the game!
He takes you to his home planet, and you are free to roam around in his spaceship.
You are the ruler of the whole entire universe!
Carface tells you of a rebellious force that is trying to overthrow your rule.
You are trapped in Carface's spaceship forever.
You hack the transmitter and force the entire universe to watch Sister Act 2: Director's Cut.
You die and go to hell.
You meet all of your ex-girlfriends in hell and they tell you how awful you are.  They say...
"You are the worst person who ever lived. You are Satan. Burn in hell."
You are Satan and burn in hell for all eternity.