You are Tony, a man who is about to marry his celebrity crush Whoopi Goldberg. Suddenly Jason, Tony's best man, confesses his love for Whoopi. After a brief altercation, in which you punch him in the face, he falls out of a 30 story window. What will you do? (NOTE: Press the 'v' key to view flashbacks. You have a flashback to when you and Jason first met. A golden-haired woman taps you on the shoulder. "Excuse me," she says, "Do you know what time it is?" "Uh... 12:30." "Thanks!" The woman turns to talk to her boyfriend, who is Jason. He turns to you, and the woman is gone. "Who was that?" You shrug. "I have no idea. Never saw her before in my life." You notice a bandage on his neck. > You and Jason have some locker room talk and become quick friends. He is quick to trust you. He tells you that he and the woman are spirits. Part of a transitional group between heaven and hell, neither here nor there. You show him your bandaged wrist. "Yeah," Flash forward back to the present where you make Jim your new best man. Jason refuses to leave the church. The wedding goes on without a hitch (thanks to the power of Christ) and the two love birds are united. But not for long... > You catch your bride Whoopie having an affair with Jim. You follow Jim into the hotel gift shop. The two of you talk, and the truth is revealed. Whoopi admits to having an affair with Jim as soon as the wedding was over. > You say "You broke my heart, Whoopie, but I respect your down-to-earth honesty." You and Jim talk for a couple of hours, and you learn about the events leading up to their meeting. After that, you decide to go home. 3 months later... You and Whoopie have gone your separate ways, but remain friends. You're still madly in love with her. > You say "One night Jim calls you and asks you for relationship advice." You and Jim talk for about a month, till one day he calls you for relationship advice. "Whoopie," he asks, "would you go back to him if he asked you?" "Look, Jim, I know you're scared of commitment, but the guy is willing to put aside his own fears for you. The least you could do is do the same." The Kool-Aid man bursts through the wall and tells you that Jim is a liar cannot be trusted. "Shut up," you say, "you're not even real." "Oh yeah," the Kool-Aid man asks, "then what am I then?" You shrug. The Kool-Aid man reveals he is dating Whoopie. "I'm her favorite flavor now," he tells you. You feel rage. Pure rage. You rush to the kitchen and grab a knife. 1 month later... You are in a relationship with the Kool-Aid man. You are having a date with Kool-Aid Man and come Whoopi alone with a large tub of popcorn. You walk and say hi. Whoopie: "Hey you guys, what's up?" You: "Not much. You wanna join us for a movie?" Whoopie: "Sure thing." The three of you watch the first 15 minutes of Sister Act 2. Jim is hiding inside the popcorn and jumps out. "Aha!" Jim says. The three of you laugh. Whoopie: "How long have you been hiding in there?" Jim: "The whole time" Whoopie: "I should have known" The four four of you watch home movies of Jason and share fond memories of your dead friend. You still suspect he was murdered. Jim: "Remember when we stole that car?" Whoopie: laughs "Yeah" You: "Remember when we stole that cop car and drove it off a pier? > You say "Remember when we all watched home movies of Jason?" Whoopie: "Yeah" Jim: "Remember when we stole that car?" You: "Remember when we stole that cop car and drove it off a pier? lol" Whoopie starts crying. Jim says "Do you remember when you and Tony were married and then got divorced?" laughing. Whoopie: "Fuck off, Jim." Jim: "What? I'm just asking a question." Whoopie is getting more upset. > You say "Do you still love me?" Whoopie: "Fuck off, Jim." Jim: "What? I'm just asking a question." Whoopie is getting more upset. Whoopie: "Do you love him?" Jim says, "Yes..." Whoopie: "Well, then so do I." She punches you in the face as hard as she can. Your nose explodes and your vision goes black.