AIPD EP175 – 9/10/2020 – Story 1

Posted under AIPD EP175 - 9/10/2020 - Story 1, Story On By Chief

You're William Waterson a guy who got a new bathtub. It's the cleanest, nicest looking bathtub in the entire neighborhood. Because of that, you're not the only one who wants to use the bathtub. You step outside and see that your neighbors are dressed in towels and are standing in a line in front of your house, because they want to bathe in your bathtub. You look at your neighbors and say, "Get out of here." They don't move. You look angry and shout, "I'm not going to tell you again, get out of here!" Still they stand their ground and don't move an inch.
You turn on the sprinklers in your front yard. Hopefully that will make them go away.

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Your sprinkler system is effective, but only a little bit.
You greased the floor of you bathroom so people will slip and fall if they go in there. This strategy works very well. If people want to use your bathtub they have to clean the floor first, which takes a long time.
You tell everyone if they want to use your bathtub, they have to pay for it. This strategy works too. Eventually your new bathtub is so popular that you make enough money to buy yourself a microwave oven.
However, you don't win by much.
Jason,one of the stars of the award winning Stream AIPD, suggests that you turn your personal bathroom into a bath house. You will charge your neighbors for access to it. It's a great idea, but you have to wait awhile before the plumbing is in good enough shape to support it.
You can't wait for the new pipes.  You open the bathhouse to the public immediately. It's an immediate success, and you make enough money to buy your family a new car.

You're David Attenborough, and you have won the challenge!
You begin narrating other people taking baths. The people in your neighborhood are surprisingly receptive to it. You make a living doing it.
You die of old age surrounded by your loved ones.
You begin to haunt your bathroom, wild animals have taken over since your death. You try to scare away animals from your bathtub, but you can't. You're stuck there forever.
Your bathroom is demolished in 2016 to make way for a new skyscraper. You are destroyed as well.
You haunt the executive bathroom at the top of the skyscraper. You're still waiting for someone to discover you, so you can tell them your story.
You tell the Kool-Aid man your story. He bursts through every floor in the building and says, "Oh yeah! There's a story in the bathroom!" He tells everyone in the future. Everyone who hears your story says, "Awww! That's sweet."
You become a famous story.
You win the day.