You are Tony. You are interviewing for a job as a mafia boss. Your father is the current mafia boss and you are asking for his permission to replace him. "Oh, sure. I was going to retire soon anyway. It's time for the next generation to take over. We're just going through some changes right now," he says. > You say "Good. It's time for the first openly gay mafia boss." "That's a hell of a change." > You immediately hire your gay best friends, Jason and Jim, to be your top mafia bosses. You become the first openly gay mob boss. You hire your two best friends, one as second in command and one as head of dealing with the connections to acquire drugs, guns, prostitutes, and money from loan sharking. > You and gay mafia quickly take control of Nashville, Tennessee. You take control of Nashville, Tennessee and turn it into a haven for the LGBT community. You decide that since Nashville is a city filled with musicians that your gang needs an album. You hit record studio and laying out phat beats. You invoke fear in your enemies and gain more control over the city. Your gang becomes the most powerful organization in the city. You continue to turn out albums even when you're eighty. You new album "Gay Country Mafia Songs" goes Platinum. Your final album "Nashville" goes multi-platinum. You die when you're eighty five. Your friend and second in command becomes the new head of the gay country mafia. Jason and Jim have a turf war to at the funeral, to decide who takes over the gay country mafia. The winner of the turf war decides to change the name of gang to the gay mafia. The winner of the turf war between Jason and Jim is... JIM. He changes the gang's name from the gay country mafia to the gay mafia. The gay mafia becomes the most powerful organized crime organization in the world. You face your rival gang, the Lesbola, led by Ellen DeGeneres. You and your men fight against the lesbians. Jim proposes a peace champagne brunch with Ellen Degeneres. You accept. The two gangs hold a peace brunch at a waffle house. You and Jim become fast friends. Jim comes out as a lesbian at Waffle House Brunch. Your gang is finally united. You and the lesbians wage war on the bisexuals. The bisexuals are the most powerful enemy you have ever faced. Two of their generals, Tom Cruise and Lindsay Lohan, prove to be very powerful fighters. Jim challenges Lindsay Lohan to a Chanel purse fight. The battle is intense. You and Tom Cruise have a stare down. You and Tom go at it with canes. You land a solid blow to Tom's head, knocking him unconscious. You run over to help Jim who is being choked my Lindsay Lohan's purse. You take out a flask and pour the contents onto her. It's urine. She lets go of Jim to grab a napkin. > You say "That's Anne Hathaway's urine, by the way." You let out a stream of urine onto Lindsay. She runs away. You, Jim, and Tom all take a shot of vodka to celebrate your victory over the bisexuals. Tom Cruise announces he is a lesbian. You, your second in command, and Jim all become bisexual. You continue to wage war on the world until you and your gang die of natural causes. The three of you have a fabulous party at a bisexual night club to celebrate. THE END Your gang continues to wage war on the world until you and your men die of natural causes.
AIPD EP172 – 9/7/2020 – Story 2
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