AIPD EP170 – 9/5/2020 – Story 1

Posted under AIPD EP170 - 9/5/2020 - Story 1, Story On By Chief

You are Mako, a guy who has become the center of a messy love triangle. At first, you had a crush on a powerful hero named Korra. However, you quickly started dating a nice, wealthy woman named Asami. However, you kiss Korra after your date with Asami. You like both women, so you have a hard time choosing between them. Eventually, Korra and Asami get tired of you and start dating each-other. You now have zero girlfriends.
You realize you've been going about this all wrong. You don't need to choose between the two, as you can have both!
> You devise a scheme to win them both back.
Korra's a hero, and can take care of herself in battle. Asami runs her own company, so she can probably pay for stuff.
You convert to Mormonism and convince Korra and Asami to do so as well. You say that your religion is the right one and theirs is a sham. After two weeks of tough talks, both women fall for it. You convince them that you will burn in Hell unless you all get married right now.
At the cermemony, Roseanne Barr officiates the wedding. The three of you are married. However, there is some dispute over which one of you is married to the other two.
You become a drug dealer and convince Asami to start dealing.
> You start dealing caffeine to the Mormons in towns.
You become known as "The Caffeine King", and start selling caffeine pills to the entire town of Salt Lake City. It is a smashing success.
> You and your two Mormon brides get high on caffeine pills have have a soaking orgy in your Salt Lake city penthouse.
You and your two wives have a lovely orgy in your penthouse in Salt Lake City. You all have a grand-old time, but unfortunately, tragedy strikes.
You accidentally break Asami's neck during a particularly vigorous session. She dies immediately.
Korra is so upset with you that she leaves you forever.
> You seek comfort in the arms of Roseanne Barr.
You and Roseanne Barr have a lovely affair. She leaves you $40million in her will.
You die of a massive heart attack while having sex with Roseanne Barr at the age of 27.
> You go to Mormon heaven.
You have been judged worthy by the lord. Your service has earned you a place in mormon heaven, where you will enjoy eating peaches and drinking coffee with Kool-Aid for all of eternity.
> You ask Joseph Smith "Why do bad things happen to good people like me"
Joseph ponders your question, and after a long pause he appears to come to a realization.
He leads you outside explaining that God has just given him a revelation.
You step outside and Joseph pushes off a cloud and you fall to Hell.
In hell, you are forced to have sex with Roseanne Barr, and the pain never stops.