AIPD EP168 – 9/2/2020 – Story 3

Posted under AIPD EP168 - 9/2/2020 - Story 3, Story On By Chief

You are Percy, the junior manager at a swimming pool cleaning supplies store. You occasionally go out to client's homes. You go to a rich client's house one day to find a beautiful woman floating on an inflatable swan in the pool. She tells you…
You are a mercenary working in Syria. You are sitting in your tent with an RPG on your lap and a bottle of whiskey on the table. The radio sputters to life.
> You get your orders over the radio. A swimming in the war-torn university district needs cleaning immediately.
You rush to the university. You arrive at the pool to find that the team's accountant has fallen through and drowned.
The pool is drained of water and your company's owner, Mr Rich, arrives.
Roddy Rich is accompanied by Tom cruise, they look unaware of the recent drowning so you try to get them to go outside with you before they notice.
They do not respond to you and both simply stare at the drained pool.
You rush in front of them to block their view but they both walk through you and fall to their knees beside the pool.
Tom Cruise cries aloud "NO!  My accountant Truck MClargehuge!  How did this happen?"
Mr rich simply whispers "We are all going to die."
The pool begins to fill with water, it rises with an unnatural speed.
> You ask Tom Cruise to pray to his Scientology gods.
Tom prays to his Scientology gods but they fail to respond. All three of you are drowned by the rising water.
You wake up in a Syrian hospital for mercenaries.  Tom and Roddy Rich are in the beds next to you. You watch as the nurses take their drips out and leave the room, they close the door and you wait for someone to come back in but no-one does.
You see a Syrian mercenary hanging by a rope outside your hospital window. He was a good friend of yours, you can still see the look of surprise on his face.
You walk over to the window and climb outside, hanging by your toes from the ledge.
> You say "What's up, commando bro? "
"I am going home." He says as he falls through space.
You try and grab him but fall after him.
You free fall for 30 stories until you miraculously catch him as you land safely on a window cleaner platform.
You sit there in silence for a moment, you reminisce about the contracts you've completed.
Just then the window cleaner returns to find you sitting on his platform.
The window cleaner is actually a spy and you everyone engages in a kung fu fight thirty stories up in the air.
You're outnumbered, you see a toolbox beside the window washer's platform and arm yourself with a hammer.
> You throw the hammer, and it transforms into M.C. Hammer. The rapper dances over the terrorists until they are trampled.
You throw the hammer and it hits M.C.Hammer in the face. His old music video '2 Legit 2 Quit' begins to play, as the terrorists begin dancing to the rhythm.
> You leg sweep the terrorists and they fall to their deaths.
You attempt to leg sweep the terrorists but instead fall off the building. You grab hold of a flag pole and dangle for dear life.
During this time, M.C.Hammer runs over to your aid but slips on a banana skin and falls out of the window. He later wins a grammy for his death.
You got to MC Hammer's funeral.
You were the only one there. Even his family disowned him after his death.
You decided to retire and live on a farm house in Scotland, where you married a bagpipe player and had three children.
Thirty years later you hear a knock at the door.  It's your old mercenary boss asking you to come back for one more job. He needs you more than ever.
You find yourself back in the business of death, risking your life for money.