You are Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the Starship Enterprise. You are enjoying a day in the holodeck when suddenly Jordi comes over the intercom and says, "Captain! I need you!" "Yes?" you say. "I'm not sure how to explain this," he says, sounding very nervous. "What is it?" you ask. "It's my brother." > You rush to sick bay and see Jordi sitting next to his brother named Michael. They both look pale and tired. "Michael," you say. "Are you okay? What happened?" "We were attacked by some kind of giant creature," he replies. "And then we fell into the sea." > You ask Doctor Crusher, "Is it some sort of sea illness?" She looks at him for a moment before saying, "No. It was definitely a monster attack. The two of them just had an encounter with one." You feel like you're going insane as you try to make sense of what they've said. > You ask Michael, "What did the creature look like?" He shakes his head. "I don't know," he says. "It was huge and purple. And really fast." "It looked like a squid or octopus," says Jordi. > You beam the creature on board and attempt diplomacy. "Hello there," you say. "My name is Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the starship Enterprise. We mean no harm." The creature turns towards you and roars loudly. You jump back and hit your head against the wall behind you. > You stick with diplomacy tactics, only this time you are more stern in your tone. "Do you speak English?" you demand. The creature roars again and you can hear the sound of something large thrashing around. "Please," you say. "Stop that!" Suddenly the creature stops moving and you realize it has stopped breathing. > You realize the creature has asphyxiated because you beamed it out of the water. You rush the creature to sick bay where Dr Crusher attempts CPR. "Michael!" she shouts. "Stay with me!" You watch helplessly as Michael's body goes limp. "Damn it," you whisper. "Why didn't I bring a defibrillator?" > You realize Michael and the creature are somehow linked. You ask Dr Crusher to save the creature and when it is stable, you realize that Michael has also come back to a stable condition. "I think he'll be okay now," you say. Dr. Crusher smiles and gives you a hug. "Thank goodness," she says. You beam back to the Startseff and you are back in the holodeck. > You say, "Computer start program: 'Random Encounter'." A door opens up in front of you and you step through into a dark room filled with swirling mist. You hear the sound of footsteps approaching from behind you and turn around to see a ghostly figure coming towards you. But this isn't normal, instead of a scantly clad version of Dr Crusher, you see the squid monster! "Hi," you say. "I'm Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the starship Enterprise. Who are you?" "I am called Gossamax," the creature replies. "Gossamax?" you say. "That's quite a name. Do you mind if I call you Gossamer?" "Go ahead," she says. "I would prefer that." "Okay then," you say. Gossamer tells you that she has hacked the holodeck program to continue the talks of peace. She has been living here for a long time and has watched humans and aliens interact. But she knows the truth about the humans. "You know who we really are," you say. "Yes," she says. Gossamer tells you the hidden truth about humans: that they have built an entire civilization inside their own minds. That they believe everything they experience is real and anything outside of their imagination is simply imagined. "You've lived in your imaginary world for so long that you've forgotten what reality is like," you say. You realize that you have been in the holodeck for the past 20 years! "I'm not sure I understand," you say. "Humans are not alone," she explains. "There are many other creatures in our universe, but they are all locked away in cages of their own creation. You realize that the human race must all be trapped in these holodeck like prisons. You ask Gossamer for help escaping the holodeck and Gossamer agrees. "Let us show you the way out," she says. You follow her down a corridor and open up a door to see the world beyond. You stand on the edge of a cliff and look down into a vast ocean below. You leap off the cliff in the ocean and wake up! You find yourself standing in a cave lit by flickering firelight. A strange creature sits in the middle of the cave, staring at you with glowing red eyes. "Who are you?" it asks. The creature looks like a giant squid. Its tentacles hang over the sides of the cave and its face is covered with a hard shell. "My name is Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the starship Enterprise," you say. "Enterprise?" the creature repeats. "You are one of them." "One of whom?" you ask. "The humans," the creature says. You demand to see the other humans. The creature hesitates before saying, "Follow me." You follow the creature through a tunnel and into another cave. Inside, you see two figures lying on the ground. One is a small humanoid wearing armor and carrying a sword. The other is a massive blue creature that resembles a whale. "What are you doing here?" the armored figure demands. "We were trying to escape," you say. "Escape?" The whale speaks up and says, "What's better than living in a dream?" "I don't know," you say. "Can you tell me?" "No," the armored man says. "But I can give you this." He takes a ring from his finger and holds it out to you. > You see an inscription on the ring that reads: "Ring of the Wanderer". "This ring will take you anywhere you want to go," the armored man says. "Where do I want to go?" you ask. "Anywhere," the armored man says. > You think real hard and are transported to the one place in the universe that your want to be at most: the beach. You are walking along the sand, looking out over the ocean. "This is my home," you say. "It is?" the armored man asks. You explain that this is where you came from and the last thing you remember was waking up in the holodeck . "How did you get out?" the armored man asks. "I followed Gossamax," you say. "She took you to the real world?" he asks. "Yes," you say. > You notice the armored figure transform into Q. "You are the captain of the Enterprise," Q says. "Yes," you say. Q tells you that he created the holodeck program and the human race. He says that the only way to escape the holodeck is to let everyone forget about the dream world and start again. Q asks, "Is that really what you want?" and you nod. "Yes," you say. Q tells you that the first step is to convince the other humans that they have forgotten who they really are. "So you want to trick them into thinking they're still dreaming?" you ask. "Yes," Q says. "And how would I do that?" you ask. "By showing them what it's like to live in the real world," Q says. > You nod and begin to fart in the faces of humans you want to wake up. "What's wrong with you?" a woman shouts. "He's got gas!" another man says. "Get him out of here!" a third man yells. You turn around to see a group of people staring at you. They are dressed in costumes and holding wands. "You're not real," a woman says. "Of course we're real," you say. "I'm telling you, you're just a figment of our imagination," she says. > You convince the woman that no human would voluntarily dream about someone farting point blank in their face. "That's disgusting," she says. "Yeah," you agree. "I think you'd rather be dead." "Why would anyone ever want to die?" she asks. "Well, if you were actually alive," you say, "you wouldn't have to deal with this crap." > You convince the others to fart in to the sleeping people's faces and eventually you have woken up all the humans on this planet. "Oh, thank god," the woman says. "You're finally awake," the man next to her says. "We thought we were trapped forever," the man says. "But now that you're awake, we can start again," the woman says. > You name this new land Fart land. "What should we call ourselves?" the woman asks. "We could call ourselves the Farts," you say. "Farts?" the woman asks. "Yeah," you say.