You are Ralph Deckum and you are CEO of Northern Idaho's largest sex toy factory. You are undercover as a middle manager.
The warehouse is located in the back corner of the building. There are lots of shelves and pallets filled with boxes containing different dildos. The lighting in the warehouse is dim and dirty.
You take note that it is very hard to see and be safe in these conditions.
As you walk past a large box on a pallet, you hear a squeak coming from inside. As you pick up the box you realize there is something moving inside. It starts to squirm and moan and tries to get out of the box.
You give your first impressions to the camera:
"This place is creepy. The lighting isn't great. The pallets are so old and the warehouse is so dark it's impossible to see if you trip over anything."
You try to go into more detail about what you find but you're interrupted by some noises coming from another area of
the warehouse.
You take note and continue walking. After a few minutes you reach an office at the end of the warehouse. It's not much bigger than a broom closet, but there's enough room for someone to sit at a desk and a filing cabinet.
You open the office and are aghast to see
a naked woman being tied to a chair. She's a young lady who looks like she's about your age.
She's been gagged and blindfolded. A leather gag with a ball in it is placed between her teeth and tied around the back of her head.
You are shocked until you find out this is Deborah, the head of Quality Assurance.
She has always been so nice and friendly to you, and you have never suspected that she had any ulterior motives.
You quickly tell your story to the camera: "This place is even creepier now.
I thought everything here was just normal but now I'm seeing something I didn't know about. She's a pretty girl. She's probably in college and having fun like all the other students.
You want to ask Deborah out on a date, but you can't as you as distracted by a loud noise coming from the factory floor. You rush out and see
what appears to be an angry mob of people outside the building. They have torches and pitchforks, and are carrying signs with slogans like "Kill the Dildos" and "Burn the Toy Factory!"
You attempt attempt to speak to the angry mob.
You explain to them that everything they think they know about dildos is wrong and that you will tell them why in great detail. You shout out "It's all a big misunderstanding!"
The leader of the mob stands up and says, "
I don't know who the hell you think you're talking to but you'd better shut your damn mouth before we shove it down your throat and make you eat it! We aren't buying your shit and we don't want you here."
You demonstrate the use of your products to educate the ignorant masses about what your products actually do.
You tell them to get down on their knees and crawl toward the doors as you describe what each of them does and how it feels to use them.
You go back inside to see that the people have left and the factory floor has been cleared.
The next day, orders for your product have quadrupled overnight.
Your boss is Mr. Martinez. He is a tall man in his mid 40s. He always wears a suit and tie.
You work at Northern Idaho's largest sex toy factory.
You are expecting some sort of recognition for your bravery, however Mr Martinez is furious at your risky behavior yesterday.
He tells you he can't afford to pay you overtime and threatens to fire you if you don't come up with new ideas for sales immediately.
You meet with Mr. Martinez. You explain that you were just trying to make a point about the nature of dildos.
Mr Martinez breaks you down mentally by saying:
"Did you really think those people would listen?
"Did you really think those people cared?"
"Do you understand that most people are morons and will believe whatever they are told?"
You reveal yourself to be the CEO and you humiliate Mr Martinez in front of everyone.
Mr Martinez says: "You should have been more professional."
You reveal Mr. Martinez to be an impotent pervert and a sadist.
You are seen as a hero by all who see your bravery.
You fire Mr Martinez and promote Deborah to take his place.
You start a revolution by making dildo's cheap enough for every man
and
woman
.
Your product is so successful it eventually takes over the world and people forget what they did before they started using them.
You have the best financial year ever and celebrate by giving all of your employees the following:
1. A $50 gift card to your favorite porn site
2. A free one night stand with a famous pornstar
3. A full refund for their dildo purchase
4.
Free lifetime membership to the Northern Idaho Dildo Emporium (which has grown into an international chain)
5. An all expenses paid trip to Disneyland.
You
are hailed by your employees and as best CEO to ever exist in the history of mankind
.
The End
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