You are Freddy Nemo, a travel show host where you eat weird food from all over the world! Today you are visiting Atlantis. You head to the beach and there is an ancient temple built into it with strange markings on the walls. It's quite dark in here so you light your torch. As you go deeper inside you find many treasure chests but they're empty. > You try to eat something from the chest. It crumbles when you bite it. The skeleton of a fish lies at your feet. The bones have been bleached white by sunbeams filtering through the water above, making them look like pieces of coral or perhaps some kind of fossilized sea creature. > You squint your eyes and think the sea creature fossil kind of looks like a tasty meatball. A shark tooth appears before you, looking as if someone has carved it out of bone rather than grown it naturally. A bit too large for even a human mouth, it seems unlikely that anyone would be able to swallow one whole without choking. > You notice a trail of sauce leading into a cavern, you follow it and see. A long trail of blood leads down deep into the ocean floor below you. There is also a large hole in the wall where the red liquid can't seem to drain properly. Perhaps this is what caused the leak? > You get closer to the fluid and realize it is not blood, it is marinara sauce! Marinara sauce pours out of the hole in the wall, slowly dripping onto the sand below. This must be why the ground was slippery earlier -- no wonder you fell! > You continue to follow the trail. Blood continues to flow freely from the opening until the entire area around it turns red with gore. In the center of this pool stands a giant squid-like monster which has lost its tentacles and seems to be dead. > You take a bite of the marinara covered giant squid. It tastes salty. Your teeth sink into its tough fleshy body, ripping through skin and muscle effortlessly. Its innards spill out upon your plate, steaming hot and oozing juices. When you're done eating the giant squid, it collapses into a pile of slime on the sand beneath you. > You knocked the sand away and chase after the slime. Slimy green goop drips off the top of the mound and slides quickly toward you. Your reflexes kick in just in time and you catch hold of it with both hands, holding it steady as it rolls toward you. > You look around and notice that you have made it! You have found the secret entrance to Atlantis! The door opens up right under your nose and reveals a huge cavernous room filled with glowing blue crystals suspended in midair. The air smells faintly of sulfur, but otherwise it doesn't smell bad. A fish named Dori leads you to a table for one and a school of clown fish set out a 5 course dinner consisting of: 1) Sardines 2) Squid 3) Octopus 4) Lobster 5) Shrimp. Dori says "I'm glad you could make it!" She then asks "Do you want wine?" You accept and Dori pours you a weird substance. It is clear and tastes like saltwater. You spit it out immediately because it burns your throat but Dori laughs and tells you that it will help cure seasickness! As soon as she leaves, the fish start talking about how much fun they had today. You complain about the sulfur smell. They tell you that it comes from the nearby volcano. It's only natural since it used to be a volcano itself once. After dinner, Dori takes you back to your hotel room. Once inside, she offers you a drink and then starts kissing you passionately. You can't believe it, tonight you are finally going to have relations with a fish. But wait... Why does Dori keep asking if you've ever been intimate with a woman before? Does she think you haven't been sleeping with women for years?! Suddenly, you realize that Dori isn't really a girl at all; she's a man in drag! He keeps saying he wants to do more than kiss though, and you don't know what to say anymore. You decide to play along and pretend to enjoy himself while secretly thinking that you'd rather be alone. You g o to sleep and wake up to discover Dori has made a del i cious breakfast of fried eggs, bacon, sausage, pancakes, waffles, toast, coffee, orange juice, chocolate milk, tea, and a big bowl full of jellyfish. He tells you that he'll leave now but promises to come visit again tomorrow night. You give the secret restaurant of Atlantis a rating out of five marinara bottles: 5/5 (it's better than sex!) Years later... you return to the secret restaurant of Atlantis to discover that you show has made it a hot tourist destintation. You sit down to lunch with a group of tourists who are excitedly discussing their day at the site. After hearing about all the different things they did, you decide to join them. They talk about how cool it was to swim with dolphins, and watch sharks in the tank. While you are socializing, you are secretly looking around for Dori, but she is not here. Instead, there is a new waiter serving you. His name is Frank and he has a mustache that makes him look like a villain from a 1930s movie. Frank tells you that he knows your favorite meal and brings you a plate of sardines. Then you put it together, Dori is Frank! And he's always been here waiting for you! You feel terrible for having rejected his advances so many times and vow never to hurt another fish again. Frank then invites you over to a private party being thrown by his boss, King Neptune himself! King Neptune tells you about how some monster ate his pet giant squid. You nervously change the subject. He goes on to explain that he needs a champion to fight the beast and save the city. "What kind of person do I need to be?" you ask. "Someone brave," answers Neptune. You volunteer and ask what you need to do. King Neptune asks you to eat three octopus legs, which turn out to be rubbery tentacles with suckers on them. Then you have to eat two squid heads and an eyeball which taste like pickled onions. Finally, you have to chow down on a giant crab leg which tastes like lobster. You feel extremely full, but you are able to gobble it all down. But then King Neptune reveals this was all a setup! You are revealed to be the monster that ate his pet giant squid! King Neptune sentences you to death and orders everyone to throw rocks at you until you die. But instead of dying, you transform into a giant squid yourself and eat everyone! Everyone except Dori, who escapes with the rest of his species and flees from Atlantis forever!