AI Generated Pawn Stars

Posted under Episode 0, Story On By Chief

You are Rick, owner of Pawnstars.  You work here with your old man and your son, Big Hoss. Everything in here has a story and a price. One thing you've learned after 21 years – you never know WHAT is gonna come through that door.

Your Dad is sitting on the couch playing a video game when he sees a mysterious figure in the doorway.
"Who's there? What do you want?"
The stranger doesn't speak and just stares at you.

You notice it is Chumlee wearing a classic movie monster mask.  You ask Chumlee what he paid for that, and he says:
"It was cheap."
Big Hoss enters the room behind him carrying two bags of money.
"Chumlee, I told you to be careful with these!"

"I did. Honest, bro!"
Your father reaches into his pocket to grab the bills and finds something else instead – a pack of cigarettes! He takes one out and lights up.
“What's going on in here, guys?
You tell everyone that you are going on site to visit a man selling the rarest item that would every has passed through your pawn shop: a
 giant robot hand made by Dr. Wily.
"That's awesome," says Big Hoss. "Do we get a cut?"
"Yes, son. 100% profit for me, 100% of all my commission to you guys, and no need to worry about paying for gas or car

 maintenance because this thing can drive itself."
"And when will we see a profit?"
"The day we sell it," you say.
"Okay, cool!" says Big Hoss.

You and Chumlee go to Dr Wily's hideout and bargain for the giant robot arm.
 He tells you that he only has one left and he won't part with it for less than $10,000.
Chumlee says, "I think we should tell the man that we don't have that kind of money.
You ask Dr Wily to demonstrate that it works before you talk about money.

"So," Dr. Wily starts. "This is the main power switch. If you flip it up, then it turns on. The other two switches control its legs and its weapons.

You explain to Dr Wily that you only want the arm and warn him about trying to upsell you.

"I promise to keep it real, I don't want to waste your time, but if I told you all the things this hand can do, you'd be running away from me faster than you could say 'Hey!

​Chumlee interrupts you and asks about the weapons
Dr Wily tells him that they are located in the center of the torso, just above the arms.
Chumlee presses down on the center of the torso and all four arms come up like a crane.

You watch as Chumlee is eviscerated right in front of your very eyes.  You are and Dr Wily are covered in a mist of his blood.

Chumlee screams and falls to the ground, dead.
You run away into the woods to get some fresh air.
While you're sitting there, Big Hoss comes looking for you.
  You break the news to Big Hoss that Chumlee is dead.

Big Hoss is distraught and tells you that he was the one who pressed the button on Dr Wily's robot.
He says, "I didn't think the arm would kill anyone."

You make Dr Wily an offer on the big arm:
 $5,000 cash.  He tells you that he'll give you the arm for $10,000.
You say, "I'm sorry, but I don't have that kind of money at the moment.

You realize that Dr Wily is not going to budge on the price, and you pay him $10,000 for the big arm.

Chumlee is laid to rest in the back yard next to a giant pumpkin patch, where he has spent many days of his life.  He has finally found some peace.
You go inside and tell everyone about your success.

You find an eager buyer for the big robot arm:
 The Mega-Lo Mart.
"Chumlee, we've gotta go," says Big Hoss.
"What is it, bro? What's the emergency?"
Big Hoss runs outside with you and you see that Big Hoss's car is on fire.

You realize that the Mega-Lo Mart employees want to take the arm from you by force.

“Get back here! Let me talk to my dad!" yells Big Hoss.
The employees ignore Big Hoss and walk toward the house with the giant robot hand.
You run out with the money bag.

You turn on the giant robot hand and watch it fight the Mega-Lo Mart employees with ease and finese.

The Mega-Lo Mart employees flee into the woods without so much as a scratch.
The Mega-Lo Mart workers return to the store, and you let them in.
“Well, we'll be in touch about the arm," says the manager, "but there's something else I
 wanted to discuss with you."
"What is it?" asks Big Hoss.
The manager tells Big Hoss that they have a deal on the table to buy the hand for $30,000.
  However the buyer is controversial celebrity figure:
 Mr. Big.
“Big?” you say. "You mean the guy who was on American Gladiators? And now he's the head of the mob?"
"Yes," says the Mega-Lo Mart manager.

You think about for two seconds before you are on the phone with Mr Big and agree to sell him the arm.  Big Hoss asks you if you have any reservations about selling him a weapon like this and you reply, "Nope."

You tell Big Hoss to get some rest because he has had a long day.  He looks at you like you have lost your mind, but you know what you're doing.
The next morning, the Mega-Lo Mart opens for business.

Store theft has dropped to 0 as the robot arm violently murders anyone trying to steal anything, even if it is just a stick of gum.

A customer approaches the counter and asks for a can of beans.
“Do you have these in any other size cans?” asks the customer.
The store employee reaches into one of the storage boxes and pulls out a can of beans.

The robot arm mistakes this as an act of aggression and accidentally kills an innocent employee.

Everyone in the store screams.
A man standing behind you asks the manager how this could have happened.
The manager says, "I don't know, but let me assure you that it will never happen again."

Mr Big attempts to return the robot hand for a full refund.

You agree and give Mr. Big his money back, plus $2,500 for the inconvenience.
“What am I supposed to do with this?" asks Mr. Big, holding up the dead robot arm.

You want to say something, but Big Hoss steps in and says
, "Why don't you keep it? You can put it on display."
The next morning you go outside and find Big Hoss face down in the flower garden. There are traces of blood and vomit on the ground and he appears to be dead.

Your first thought is to blame the robot arm, but also Big Hoss was really fat, so that might be it as well.

You decide that it's best to have an autopsy performed, just in case it has some kind of curse on it that causes people to die.
“Hey, I just heard about your son," says Dr Wily.

"Yeah, he had a rough day yesterday."
Dr Wily says that he doesn't think Big Hoss died because of the robot arm, but thinks maybe Chumlee did.

Dr Wily offers to bring Big Hoss back as one of his robot bosses.  You hesitate, but to overcome your grief, you agre

"How much will you need for this?" you ask.
Dr Wily tells you that it would cost $20,000, but you say you'll only pay him $10,000, which is exactly how much he owes you.

You agree and Dr Wily turns Big Hoss into:
 "HOSS" – the robotic giant.
Dr. Wily says, "Just try not to get the robot arm wet."
After Dr. Wily leaves, you start to feel guilty and wonder if this was really the right decision.

You attempt to have a heart to heart talk with HOSS.

“I'm so sorry I killed you before, but I didn't want my son to go to Hell," you say.
“Don't worry about it," says HOSS, "because you have a secret weapon."

“What do you mean by 'secret?'" asks HOSS.
“Well," you tell him, "you can't see me because I'm invisible. I'm here to help you save your ass from those Mega-Lo Mart guys."

You are convinced that you are invisible, even though you are not, and try to confront the Mega-Lo Mart mob.

They do not respond to your presence and walk toward you, ready to beat the shit out of you.
“Don't worry, HOSS," you say. "I'll handle this."

You use the giant robot hand to throw the Mega-Lo Mart mob off the cliff and you feel really bad about this, but at least you know now that you're not invisible.
You decide to call Dr. Wily back and thank him for resurrecting your son.